


Find my way back to you

by justamazing10



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I know I'm supposed to write for other ships, Lex Luthor is a Drama Queen, SuperCorp, but sue me, you'll have to tear off Supercorp from my cold hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-04-06 05:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19055908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justamazing10/pseuds/justamazing10
Summary: "No distance could ever tear us apart; I'll find my way back to you".Kara is erased from everyone's memory and she is sent to a place she can't escape from. Everyone is left with an impending feeling of doom; but none of them are able to remember Kara.. or is there someone who will?





	1. Danger itself cannot be seen

“Maybe it’s a good sign.” Kara suddenly says, breaking the prevailing silence of the car that had been reigning so far. “Maybe it means they don’t need us anymore.”

“Oh, they need us, alright?” Alex takes her eyes off the road for a second to look at the blonde. “They just don’t know it.”

Kara doesn’t answer; instead, she watches absentmindedly the variety of lights dancing around the façade of the nearby buildings. It’s Friday night and due to the reduction of the crime rate the city has experienced in the last couple of months many people find themselves walking the streets peacefully. The atmosphere feels lighter and everyone looks happy.

“Alex” the blonde turns on her seat to look at her sister “there hasn’t happened anything alien-related or even remotely dangerous for quite a while now.” She half smiles as she toys with the bracelet their mother had given them both as a Christmas present a couple of years ago. Alex’s is all black with a silver pearl on the middle whereas Kara’s is, in contrast, all white with a black adornment. “National City will be fine without Supergirl for a few days. Maybe I’ll even get to retire someday.”

“Nothing happened because _you_ were here.” Alex takes a left and slows down as they approach Kara’s flat. “Besides, it’s not the city I’m concerned about; it’s you.”

It’s not that Alex is purposefully trying to make Kara feel bad; it’s just that she worries. A lot. Because Kara is not going on a vacation of any kind; she’s travelling to Europe with some of the DEO team to investigate a supposed alien threat. They got a call from Berlin some days ago to tell them the Germans’ radar had picked up some unusual activity near a spy station built during the Cold War.

“I just wish I could go with you.” Alex laments. “To keep you safe.”

“J’onn will be with me the whole time.” Kara reassures her. “I’ll be fine.”

“It’s called _Teufelsberg_ , Kara.” Alex sighs as Kara raises an eyebrow. “It _literally_ means ‘Mountain of the devil’. How much nice of a place can it be?”

“It’s been deserted for decades now. I’m sure all we’ll find will only be a couple of rocks and maybe some rusty metal here and there. Nothing major.” Kara tries to refute Alex’s worries away but to no avail.

“And if it’s been deserted for years” Alex speaks to the youngster in the same tone a mother arguing with her child would “how come we got a distress call?” Kara snorts.

“That was _not_ a distress call.” She points out. “They’re simply not as used as we are to unidentified signals.” Alex takes a moment to stop her parking manoeuvres to raise an eyebrow at the blonde. “Okay, fine, alien stuff.” She adds rolling her eyes.

Albeit the car is properly parked, they still sit in silence for a while, neither wanting to voice their thoughts although the feeling of doubt over the fact that there might be something more to it than what Kara had previously suspected was merely an error from the radar is strongly present amongst them.

“Just promise me” Alex hurriedly says as Kara’s taking her seatbelt off “promise me you’ll be careful and take care of yourself.”

“I will take care of everyone.” Kara says matter-of-factly as she shifts to open the door.

“Kara.” Her sister’s sudden change of tone makes Kara’s hand stop mid-air. “I’m serious. Please be careful.”

“I will.” Kara turns around and hugs Alex. “I’ll be home before you know it.” She whispers as she holds her sister incredibly close.

The older sister solely nods, not thrusting her voice to speak at the moment, afraid it might crack midsentence. She doesn’t want Kara to worry over her on top of all the other things the blonde already has on her plate. So with a tight smile and a wave of hand, she drives off.

Kara doesn’t stop waving until the car is fully out of sight. Once she can’t see the car lights anymore she lets out a shaky breath she didn’t realise she’s been holding. Not a minute after, she’s already making her upstairs and to her front door.

She hasn’t even made it inside when her phone starts ringing. Upon looking at the screen an involuntary smile finds its way on her face.

“Hey there” Kara greets.

“Good evening, Kara.” The other speaker playfully responds. “I assume you’ve had a good day?”

“Well, you know” Kara gestures with her hand in the air even though she knows Lena can’t see her “with Snapper breathing down my neck every ten minutes it can never be a good day, but” she cuts herself in order to grab an apple from the kitchen counter and starts munching on it “within the ups and downs; it’s been a pretty decent day.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Lena chuckles at the little happy sounds Kara makes as she eats the fruit. Instead of finding it annoying, as it would be to many, she thinks it’s endearing. “Although you should really ask that man for a raise.”

“Yeah, as if he would ever grant it.” Kara snorts. By the noise on the end of the line, Lena can picture the blonde throwing the core of the apple away and grabbing something much less healthy. The journalist’s appetite is hard to please. “How was _your_ day?” Kara asks back as she realises she hasn’t returned the question yet. ‘ _That is so impolite, Kara’_ she scolds herself.

“It could’ve been worse, to be honest.” Lena answers as she stands up from her desk chair in order to stretch her legs after many hours of sitting down. “But it could’ve also been better” there’s a short pause before she adds “I thought you’d come by.”

“Oh my God.” Kara brings her left hand to her head and grunts. “Were we supposed to meet for lunch? I totally forgot, I’m so sorry, Lena, I’ll-“

“Kara” the brunette chuckles at the blonde’s sudden burst of apologies “we didn’t have a lunch date. I just hoped you would swing by.”

“Oh” Kara is a little taken aback by the other woman’s almost timid response. “I’m still sorry, though.” Albeit she cannot see her, she _knows_ Lena is rolling her eyes at her.

“I’m free tomorrow if you want to grab lunch together.” She offers hopefully.

“Sorry once again” Kara grimaces knowing she won’t be able to make it, for her flight to Berlin leaves tomorrow at eight. “But I have to catch a plane to Germany.”

“Oh?” To say Lena is surprised would be an understatement. As far as she knew, the blonde had never travelled outside of the country, let alone to a whole different continent. “How come?”

Throughout the week Kara has been packing up suitcases, reading and investigating as much as she could about the signal they received from Berlin and even learning a few basic notions of German just in case she needs to talk to people who don’t speak English. She has been so busy it did not occur to her, however, that her best friend would have questions.

“I didn’t mean to pry.” Lena quickly adds when Kara takes a little too long to answer. “Of course you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, no” Kara is quick to assure her. “I just spaced out. I have to leave for work.” She's praying that Lena will let it go and not ask any more questions because she knows she will not be able to answer convincingly at the same speed as to which Lena will throw them.

“Hm, okay…” Lena is sceptical but decides to let it be. If Kara wants to tell her, she will.

“I hope to be back by Wednesday” Kara tries to divert the conversation topic to a comfortable zone “maybe we could grab lunch then?” Lena is quick to accept and they spend the next minutes talking about everything and anything.

It’s not until Kara looks through the window that she realises the streets are deprived of the crowd of people there was some hours ago. She glances at her wristwatch and can’t hold the gasp that escapes her mouth as she sees the time. Two in the morning. She’s been talking to Lena for nearly one hour and half.

Kara, never being one to be rude to people (let alone Lena) is then conflicted between wanting to get some hours of sleep before the flight departure and keep talking to the woman who always manages to put a smile on her face. After a couple more minutes of small talk, she falls victim to a loud yawn and _damn_ now she wishes she had drank the coffee Winn had offered her mid-afternoon. Lena seems to catch the ‘subtlety’ behind the unasked demand because after lightly laughing and letting Kara know just how adorable she thinks that was, she tells the blonde she should get some rest before her flight.

“But we were just getting started on endangered sloths!” Kara whines. She feels another yawn coming but tries to disguise it behind a forced cough.

“Right now, _you_ are the only endangered sloth I can think of.” Lena allows herself to fully laugh this time and even though Kara is now blushing she still cracks a smile of her own.

“Good night, Lena.” Kara tells her once the brunette’s laugh has subsided.

“Night, Kara.”

In spite of having to get up in less than five hours, Kara goes to bed happy. Speaking to Lena seems to have taken the weight off her shoulders and her worries have been, for the most part, dissipated.

The alarm goes off way before Kara’s fully ready to wake up. The sun is not out yet and her eyelids feel incredibly heavy. As she drags her feet begrudgingly down the corridor and gets breakfast ready, she thinks she feels a headache coming her way.

Although she managed to dissipate some of her worries last night while talking to Lena, she hasn’t managed to shake all of them away. Her shoulders feel stiff with tension and no matter how many times she massages them as she bites down on her toast, it doesn’t seem to get any less painful.

Once her stomach is satisfied with the first ingest of the day and she feels more awake, Kara gets dressed in her Supergirl suit, grabs the suitcase and waits for the DEO team to call her to let her know they’re ready.

As soon as she gets the call, she flies to the air runway and J’onn introduces her to the team that will be accompanying them on the mission.

“These are: Russo,” he says nodding to the oldest man. He is tall and his skin is as white as snow. “Fields,” the second man, who is standing next to Russo, represents the contrary of the first, for his skin is as dark as the night itself. He pumps his chest proudly and smiles down at Kara in a way she does absolutely not like. Both men are huge and pretty intimidating.

“Next we have Gomez, she’ll be the one piloting that thing.” J’onn explains pointing to the aircraft. The woman in question is shorter than her fellow teammates but seems much nicer which comforts Kara. “And these are Scott and Haik.” Both approach Kara to shake hands. Scott is a blonde woman in her late twenties who looks really nervous upon coming face to face for the first time with Supergirl but still holds herself composed enough to make a good first impression. The last team member, agent Haik, is by difference the youngest of them all. He is an Arabic boy who, apparently, doesn’t go anywhere without a calculator clutched in his hands. He would be the one assisting Gomez on the flight commands.

“Don’t be fooled by his age.” J’onn laughs as he sees Kara’s astonished expression. “He’s amazingly smart for a boy that young.” Kara nods and smiles back.

She thanks all of them for being there and lets them walk first into the plane. She thinks they might feel more comfortable if Supergirl isn’t always the one who leads the way. She doesn’t want the team to walk around eggshells around her only because she’s much stronger. Supergirl is a team player after all. J’onn soon catches on and smirks at Kara, ever so slightly nodding his approval.

Once they’re all set, Gomez and Haik start to set the coordinates and get the engines ready. As they’re about to take off, Kara texts Alex to tell her they’ll make it to Berlin around 5 p.m. and that she’ll call her as soon as they land. She’s going to put her phone away when she thinks of texting Lena as well. Right as the plane starts to move she flashes the brunette a quick text to basically tell her once again she’s sorry they will not be able to meet today but wishing the CEO a great and lovely day. Lena responds not ten seconds after with a heart emoji and although the flight will last a little over ten hours, Kara’s smile won’t fade in the slightest.

As the plane reaches the desired altitude the team decides to go over the action procedure for when they make it to Germany. It’s pretty simple, actually, and they have it down pat after twenty minutes: Once they arrive at _Teufelsberg_ , agents Russo and Fields are going to examine and secure the perimeter, given that they are former US soldiers and are used to work on the field. After they conclude there’s no danger, agents Scott and Haik will bring out the technical equipment to run a test on the environment, the building and everyone who they suspect might have been exposed to radiation. Last, agent Gomez is going to speak to the German pertinent authorities so the DEO can gather as much information as possible, given the fact she’s fluent in German.

J’onn is going to supervise and command everyone as they move along and Kara, or rather, Supergirl is going to scan the mountain and its surroundings from above.

“Remember” J’onn tells Kara once everyone gets back to their seats “just because there doesn’t seem to be anything dangerous going on, doesn’t mean there really isn’t. There’s always calmness before a storm.”

“It’s just a routine lookout mission.” The blonde shrugs, unpreoccupied.

“If it were, they wouldn’t have called the DEO, now would they?” J’onn argues.

Kara is too tired to think of anything else really, so when J’onn suggests they could all use some sleep, the Kryptonian is the first one to put the blindfold on and within seconds she’s already deep in sleep.

J’onn wakes her up as soon as they land and as Kara is brushing off the last trays of sleep remaining on her body, the man is already calling the local authorities.

“Willkommen!” A thin dark-skinned man greets them as they all start to make their way off the plane. “You’ve brought with you the Mädchen of Steel, oder?”

“I suppose that’s me.” Kara is the last one to exit the plane and raises her hand up so to draw the man’s attention; as if her bright red cape wasn’t an indication. The German smiles politely at her and he resumes introducing his team.

“My name is Peter Schulz. These agents” he turns around and nods towards his team “are agent Müller, Herrmann, Lorenz and Simon. They all have a large experience on the field and are highly trained.” He looks rather proud of his command, however when he turns around to look at the DEO team, his shoulders slump slightly. “We are sorry for asking you to come here on such short notice, we wouldn’t have called unless we thought our team could’ve handled it on its own.” Schulz laments as he starts to walk to the base.

“But given that you have more experience with these...” he slurred half-gesturing at Kara “type of situations; we thought you’d perhaps see something we haven’t been able to.”

J’onn hums professionally and Kara shoots him a side glance, feeling the way his whole body tenses ever since they got out of the plane but choosing to not say anything.

When they arrive at the base the German have set up right at the foot of the mountain, Schulz shares all the information they’ve been able to gather so far. J’onn and Gomez inspect it carefully while the rest of the agents, both American and German, get ready for a ‘field trip’.

They establish Russo, Fields, Gomez, Kara herself and J’onn will go up the mountain to inspect the terrain for themselves whereas Scott and Haik will stay on the base located downhill to assist them with anything they might need. Moreover, Schulz and a couple of his men, Müller and Lorenz, will accompany them given that they are more familiar with the ground. The remaining two German agents, Herrmann and Simon will be working with the DEO agents from the base camp.

They inspect the zone once they started to make their way up for over an hour and everyone is pretty much convinced by now that Kara’s been right all along. This whole thing was merely a malfunction of the radar.

After another half hour of exhaustive exploration, they are ready to come back down when a loud noise coming from the base crashes their ears. An explosion. Before J’onn can even open his mouth Kara is already flying off and into the flames and smoke hoping that the agents there have somehow managed to get out in time.

She starts calling for them but Kara doesn’t remember all of the agents’ names so she ends up shouting a combination of ‘ _is anybody here?’_ and ‘ _hello_?’ Minutes pass by and there’s still no sign of life anywhere. The blonde feels the hair on the base of her head arise and she tries to shrug the fear off but it’s useless.

Then, right before she can fly back up and inform the team that’s still up on the mountain, she gets a phone call from her sister.

“Alex?!” Kara cannot hide the confusion and worry in her voice. Alex knows she’s on a mission and she wouldn’t call unless it was an absolute emergency, which must be, considering Kara can indistinctly hear her sister’s voice quiver. “Alex, what’s going on?”

She can’t quite understand Alex due to the interferences and to the rumbling noise the explosion has left on Kara’s ears. The only thing she can gather about Alex’s rambling is the word ‘Luthor’. Kara’s blood suddenly runs cold.

“Alex?!” Kara starts to panic. “Where is Lena? Is she okay? What happened?” Alex can’t catch up with Kara’s interrogation; either that, or likewise Kara’s end, she can’t hear her properly. The call ends, so she flies as far as she can manage without losing sight of the mountain, for she will hang up and come to rescue if need be. She hastily dials Alex’s number again but unfortunately; she doesn’t pick up which only adds to Kara’s dismay. She’s starting to feel sick down to her stomach.

After the fourth unsuccessful attempt to communicate with her sister, Kara is torn between flying off to a place where she has better reception or postponing the phone call in order to get to J’onn and the team. Even though she knows she shouldn’t, she opts for the first.

So she tries again. And again and again, despite she can hear J’onn faintly calling for her to come back. She ignores it and keeps trying over a dozen times.

On her thirteenth call, J’onn calls for her much louder and clearer. “Supergirl, there’s been a betrayal! Do not trust-“ He doesn’t manage to end his warning before somebody shoots him and he falls to the ground; clutching tightly to his side.

Grasping her phone tightly in her hand, Kara launches herself to the place she recalls she left from but as her feet touch the ground a heavy net made of metal and Kryptonite falls on top of her, effectively trapping her in place. She feels her head start to spin and her body ache with an unbearable pain. Kara falls to her knees grunting of pure agony and her phone falls between the net’s holes out of her reach.

“Yes, they are all dead.” Kara hears before she can see anything. She identifies the voice as a man’s and she lifts her head up to try to get a proper look. There, in all his glory, is Fields, talking on a phone and even though Kara wants to yell at him the impending feeling of passing out any second now is much greater. “Well, except for the big one. I’ll bring her to you.” he talks into the phone whilst smiling wickedly at the girl.

Then her phone rings indicating she’s got an incoming text. She quickly glances down but the man is faster and stomps his foot on top of it. He then bends down and picks it up. “Too bad you won’t be able to text back.” Kara can’t take the pain anymore and she faints.

Sadly, she will never read the text Alex sent her. _“Lena’s missing.”_


	2. A hero's downfall

She has a strong headache, her mouth tastes like metal and her wrists had never hurt that much in her whole life. Her hands are handcuffed behind her back and her feet have been tied tightly together. As Kara tries to focus her vision into the darkness she’s engulfed in, she finds herself struggling to break free. After the eighth failed attempt, the superhero resigns herself and decides to try something else instead of slipping into panic mode like her brain is telling her to.

She doesn’t know how many hours have passed since she fainted back on the mountain, so she closes her eyes and slowly exhales, trying to steady her heartbeat which is increasing its pace by the minute. When she opens them again, she focuses her gaze on some fixed point and tries her heat vision but, to her dismay, nothing happens.

Kara finally starts to panic, so she whispers calming words to herself although they don’t have an effect at all. She’s starting to get really scared inasmuch as she has absolutely no clue what’s going on. She starts to go over every single possible scenario she thinks may unfold but ultimately discards them all for they make no sense.

When she can’t come up with anything else, her brain takes her to her family and friends and she thinks of them as tears start flooding her eyes. Are they safe? Will they know where to look for her? Will _Lena_ realise she’s missing? Will she find out about her identity then? Or will the DEO make up some lame lie and tell her Kara’s moved cities without so much as a goodbye? Kara feels sick at the idea.

A loud metal noise somewhere near her pulls her out of her thoughts abruptly. Her eyes need time to adjust to the bright light that seeps from behind the now open door thus she can’t make out anything else beyond a silhouette approaching her.

“Well, well, well” says the voice “if it isn’t the almighty Supergirl.” Kara feels her heart skip a couple of beats. She can’t yet see his face, but she doesn’t need to. She would recognise that voice anywhere. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t wake up… It’s been 13 hours, you know?”

“Lex.” She growls at him in a menace manner.

“Phew” the man pretends to wipe a sweat drop from his forehead “thank God you remember me. For a second I was afraid I was going to have to introduce myself. Now that would’ve been really awkward, wouldn’t it?” He grins at her. Kara doesn’t take her eyes off him as he walks back and forth in front of her.

“Why did you kidnap me?” Kara demands.

Lex puts his hand on his chest and gaps dramatically as if Kara has just offended his ancestors. “Kidnap? No, no” he waves her off with his hand while he grabs a chair Kara now sees for the first time “I simply _borrowed_ you, dear.”

“Where is the DEO team?”

“It’s a little cold in here, don’t you think?” He completely ignores her as he takes a seat in front of her and crosses his legs “so much for a hermetically closed room...” He snaps his tongue. “Anyway!” he shifts his attention back to Kara as if he forgot for a moment that she is there “you might be wondering why you’re here.” Kara mentally calculates the distance and the force she needs to kick that imbecile out of his chair.

“Don’t even think about it” Lex seems to know what Kara’s thinking and he drops his former glee tone to change it to a sterner one. “Both the room and the handcuffs are infested with Kryptonite. If you so much as rub me off the wrong way, I’ll force you to watch while we rip all of your friends apart, _Kara_.” He drags the last word longer than necessary and even though Kara’s insides are shuddering she does her best to hide it. “Just like we did to the DEO team.” He finishes with a smirk.

“I’m not scared of you.” Kara shots back. “But if you so much as touch them-“ The blonde’s sentence is curt off by Lex’s snort.

“I have to admit” he pulls a phone out of his pocket and starts texting as he starts to leave “the little bastard put up quite a fight when my men got a hold of them, but well, fortunately, they managed. And it was _all for you_.”

“What does that mean?!” Fields and another man Kara doesn’t recognise come into the room right as Lex’s leaves and start dragging Kara out as if she were today’s hunt; ready to be fed to the dogs. “Hey, leave me alone! Fields, what did you do to the DEO team? Why did you turn on us?!” Kara’s shouts and threatens don’t cause even a single reaction out of the men which only makes the blonde’s anxiety grow. “I swear if you don’t let me go right this second, you’re going to regret it!”

She tries to wiggle her way out of their hold but everything is futile, she feels too weak due to the Kryptonite.

“Get ready for the surprise!” The men drop Kara by Lex’s feet as the latter gesticulates to what’s in front of him. Kara’s heart stops once she raises her head and realises what’s ahead of her.

“Lena” Kara whispers as she desperately fights the tears and swallows the lump that’s formed in her throat. The blonde feels the air being pulled out of her as her eyes run across Lena’s body. The brunette is tied up on a wooden chair and her mouth is taped. Unlike Kara at the beginning of her imprisonment, Lena is fully awake and although she doesn’t seem to be in any physical pain; her eyes show just how scared she is.

Kara starts yelling what she believes are reassuring words for the brunette but a man comes up from behind her punches her hard. Once Lena realises Supergirl is defenceless to her brother she struggles as hard as she can against the moorage. Kara is frozen on the spot but she jumps into action right as Lena’s desperate grunt jolts her. To Lex’s amusement, neither of them manage to set themselves free. He snickers loudly, which draws the attention of both women.

“You see, everything started-“ The man stops on his tracks as a thought hits him. “Oh, my! Where are my manners?” He chuckles as he walks back to Lena. “First things first” he makes a signal to one of his men who brings a backpack with him and drops it between Lena and Kara. “I believe we haven’t properly introduced ourselves.”

Kara’s eyes open wide and she tries to speak but Lex’s voice overlaps hers. “Supergirl, meet my sister Lena”. He tells Kara whilst pointing to the brunette. He then turns back slowly to Lena and the CEO stops breathing under the intimidating look of his brother. He then proceeds to take the tape off her mouth. “Sis, I believe you’ve already met Kara”.

They both lock eyes with one another. Kara’s weep a hundred apologies while also promising Lena that everything will turn out fine; that _she_ will make sure everything turns out fine. Lena’s eyes, on the other hand, are undecipherable. And that terrifies Kara even more than a resentful stare. Lena looks composed and defiant although Kara herself is crumbling on the inside.

Lex chuckles at the little scene unfolding as he grabs the backpack the two men had carried in a couple of minutes ago and empties it. Kara’s phone, glasses and some money fall to the floor with a loud thud. Lex bends down and picks the glasses up to examine them. “Hm, these don’t look heroic at all. Also, you have _terrible_ taste.”

He throws them to where Kara is currently kneeling; head down in defeat and uneven breathing. Lena wants to protest and scream but nothing comes out. Her mouth has gone dry and she can’t seem to find her voice.

“Okay, now that that’s done, we can go back to me” Lex’s claps his hands and puts himself between the girls, effectively blocking their view of each other, but not before Kara can mouth an _‘I’m sorry’_ to the brunette. “As I was saying before this quick pause, I will grace the both of you with the wisdom of my powerful mind.”

***

“What do you mean you can’t find her?!” Alex yells, her cell phone clutched tightly on her hand and her anxiety growing stronger by the second. “She was _with_ you!”

“I don’t know what happened.” Comes J’onn’s resigned voice. Once he had managed to stop the haemorrhage by applying some pressure using his belt, he sent an emergency message back to the DEO and as soon as Alex heard the news, she lost it. “All I know for certain is that Kara’s missing.”

“Fuck!” J’onn thinks he could’ve heard the woman’s scream travel all the way across the Atlantic to Europe without the need of a phone because of how loud she yelled. He does not comment on it, though. “I knew I should’ve gone with her.” She says the last part almost in a whisper; more to herself than to anyone else.

“Alex-”

“I tried” she cuts him off “I called and tried to warn her about Lex escaping from his cell” there’s a short pause on the line and the Martian pictures Alex leaning her forehead on her hand, eyes shut close and possibly feeling an incoming headache “but the signal was too weak.” She’s fighting the tears from falling down but is ultimately struggling to look composed in front of the other workers back at the DEO that are giving her pity looks. “She couldn’t hear me.”

J’onn walks slowly around the mountain in search of the remaining agents. His phone is glued to his ear but for the moment, all he can hear is Alex’s heavy breathing. Still, he doesn’t want to hang up just yet. He wishes he could tell her that they’ll fix this, that they’ll find Kara and get her back home in no time but right now, he can make no such promises. He can only hope.

Not five minutes after, he starts to come across some of his team and part of the German. He apologises to Alex as she is telling him something about an airplane and hangs up as he sees Gomez sitting in defeat with her gaze settled on some distant tree. J’onn jogs to her despite the pain and as he kneels down and looks at her from up-close he realises there’s a prominent cut right above her left eyebrow.

“Agent, what happened?” J’onn demands. “Where are the others?” Gomez doesn’t say anything. She numbly points ahead of them, to the lying unmoving body of Russo. J’onn calls for him but as he feared, he obtains no answer.

He lets go of the woman’s shoulders and runs to the man. He turns him around and still, no response. When he gets a better look on the man’s front body he realises why: he is dead. His throat was slashed open.

He feels tears forming on his eyes but just as Alex did minutes prior, he fights them. “What about the Germans?” He turns his head slightly in Gomez’s direction. She remains quiet but nods her head towards some bushes near them.

J’onn doesn’t run anymore. He knows if someone were to still be alive, they would’ve called for him already. No, this time he takes a deep breath, given that he’s pretty certain of what he’ll find, and walks to the spot that he was pointed at. Within the bushes, he finds Schulz and his men dead; they were shot. This time, J’onn crumbles to the ground and allows himself to fully cry; for his fellow agents and for Kara. He doesn’t know how to proceed from here. The only thing he is certain of is that he needs to find Kara. Quick.

***

“After your _little friend_ here” Lex says resentfully throwing Kara a dirty look “sent me to a dirty and small cell 17 months ago, I’ve been planning this moment in excruciating detail. And I’ve been waiting for this very day ever since I met the Kryptonian.” There’s a sparkle in his eyes that makes Lena’s stomach clench. “Ah, just like a little child awaits for Christmas Eve, I guess.”

“You’re insane if you think you'll turn her into your personal weapon.” Lena angrily grunts. Lex merely sighs.

“I never understood why masterminds have the need to explain in such detail their plans; but now that I have you two idiots in front of me, I realise why.” Lex starts off cockily. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to miss the look on your faces.” He puts his hands behind his back and grins.

“Whatever it is you plan on doing” Kara says between clenched teeth “let Lena go. You’ve already got me.”

“I’m not going anywhere without you!” Lena shouts back.

“Please” Lex snorts and dismisses his sister with his hand “enough with all the drama. I’m not letting either of you go.”

“Now” he says as he walks to a metal desk where a briefcase is neatly lying. “Where to start…?” He softly sings as he reveals what was hidden inside. “I bet you’re wondering why I had to drag you two so far from home in the first place. Well, simple: because Germany was the only place in the whole wide world where I could get this.” He tells them as he picks up the gun. “After the Second World War, the victors, Great Britain, the Soviet Union and the United States, took the German arsenals and kept everything they considered useful for themselves. Whatever was dismissed as non-useful was buried in the sea. Many years later, fishmen caught remains of those weapons on their nets and brought them ashore.” He explains as he paces along the room while caressing the weapon.

“This one was rescued and tuned many decades ago by a man who called himself ‘The Soul-Ripper’.” He tells them excitedly. “He spent many years experimenting with chemical components until he finally accomplished his purpose. The power of the gunshot was so strong that it’s believed that your soul exited your body before you had even fallen to the ground.” He looks mischievously at Kara as his explanation comes to a pause. “He was a madman but I admire him even so”.

 “Lex, I swear once I get out these restraints I’m gonna launch your ass into space.” Lena threatens him.

He doesn’t pay any attention to her, instead he points the gun at her head. “Now, now, dear sister. Where are your manners? I thought mother taught you better than that.”

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Kara yells as she gathers all little strength she has left and tries to stand up. She succeeds, much to Lena’s surprise due to the amount of time she’s been exposed to Kryptonite, but she’s quickly down on her knees again as one of Lex’s man smacks her head from behind.

Lex sighs as he lowers the gun. “You kids are so…tiring.” He shakes his head and signals the man to bring Kara closer to where he’s standing next to Lena. “Have you not understood?! This” he says as he shows them the gun from up-close “it’s not your regular weapon. It has something… particular about it. _Unique_!” he talks about the gun with the same affection a lover would about their partner. “But that’s not all there is!” He says excitedly as he breaks off the love-spell that he had chanted on himself. “I managed to upgrade it, just you wait and see what its real power is.”

“Lex, I will warn you one last time, stop-“ Lex’s shuts Kara up by hitting her in the head with the stock.

“Stop it!” Lena feels like crying once she sees blood dripping right above the blonde’s eyebrow and down the side of her face. “Lex, stop it!” The older Luthor puts a hand up in front of Lena’s face to shush her.

“Next time I’ll use the other end of the gun.” He says surprisingly calm. Lena opens her mouth to speak again but Lex slaps her hard across the face. “Look at your God, Lena! Look at her!” He screams as he points at Kara bleeding and panting once again kneeled down. “Does she look like an almighty saviour to you?! She’s weak!” To prove his point, he kicks her on the stomach and Kara falls flat with a grunt of pain.

“Stop!” Lena is fully crying now and doesn’t care to try and hide it. All she wants is for him to release Kara. “Why do you have us here anyway, huh?” She yells back. “We didn’t even know you escaped! You could’ve flown to the other end of the world and be free!”

“Free?” Lex’s deep voice calls back. “Do you really think any of us are free or safe with people like her around?!” His tone louder and more threating than before. “They think they’re superior to us! Who’s to say they won’t try and conquer us all one of these days, huh? What makes you believe in them? In _her_?” He points at Kara and utters the words with such resentment in his voice there may as well have been venom on his tongue.

“Because they’re not like you!” Comes Lena’s response. “There’s good in them.”

“ _Good_.” Lex snorts. “Should we let a supposedly ‘God’ reign us when she can’t even get on her feet to defend herself?” He kicks Kara again as she tries to stand up once again. Not contented just yet, he punches her in the face.

“I’m not” Kara whispers through swollen lips “I’m not trying to _reign_. I just want to protect everyone.”

“Unfortunately for you, you soon won’t be able to.” Lex says gripping onto Kara’s hair to lock eyes with her. “You see, whoever gets shot by this gun is sent to _Perpetua Tenebris_ , but that’s not all there is. They are also erased from the memory of everyone who ever knew that person. The people they met, the objects they possessed, the conversations they had: gone.” Lena and Kara’s eyes widen in fear. “As if they had never existed.”

“Lex, _please_ ” Kara implores one more time “let Lena go.”

“Don’t worry about her.” He chuckles. “It’s not her who I’m going to use the gun on. Lena’s only here because I didn’t want her to miss on the fun of watching her best friend bleed.”

“Lex, _don’t_.” The brunette begs.

“Too late” Lex stands up from his spot smirking. “I’m finally going to get the life I should have always had.”

Kara looks at Lena and tries her best to look tough and composed if only for Lena’s sake. The brunette is frantically struggling against the rope on her wrists and her intent only intensifies once she sees Lex aiming his gun to Kara’s head.

A gunshot echoes the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Perpetua Tenebris" is a Latin expression which means "Eternal darkness"


	3. Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I'm still taking exams so I don't really have that much time to write. Still, I'll try my best to be able to at least post weekly. Again, so sorry.

The gun falls from Lex’s hand as he clutches his thigh and falls to the ground. Kara redirects her gaze from the man bleeding on the floor to his shooter: J’onn. He and Gomez point their guns at the two men, who grunt defeatedly and put their hands up in surrender. Gomez kicks the gun far from Lex’s reach and runs back to unhandcuff both Kara and Lena.

“I thought you- “

“I was dead” J’onn finishes for Kara as he approaches Lex. “Why? Cuz I was shot?” He replies sarcastically. “I know someone in my profession is never supposed to let feelings get to the best of them but” he cocks his head to the side as his gaze is pierced on Lex “that’s the least that motherfucker deserved”.

Once J’onn has handcuffed Lex to the nearest pipeline and after deciding he won’t move from where he’s tied up, the Martian walks over to where the gun was lying and carefully picks it up, examining it closely. He realises he’ll need all the DEO’s technical equipment to have a full analysis on it, so he grabs Kara’s backpack, which was still lying around and packs it neatly away.

As soon as he’s satisfied with the placement of the weapon, J’onn approaches Kara in order to remove her from the handcuffs that’d been imprisoning her as Gomez unties Lena and helps her up. Although Lena’s legs feel weak and she feels as if she’ll collapse any minute now, she puts all little strength she has left to run to Kara and hug her impossibly tight. As soon as the brunette’s hands are around her, Kara pulls her closer and lets herself cry for the first time.

“God, I was so scared, Lena” Kara sobs on her friend’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t have been here, it’s too dangerous, he could’ve- “

“You’re okay.” Lena chuckles in relief despite having tears of her own rolling down her cheeks. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” The brunette puts her hands on both Kara’s cheeks to look her in the eyes. “You’re safe.” Lena is still scared as hell but gazing into the other woman’s eyes calms her down enough to take a deep breath and regain the steadiness of her heartbeat.

Kara inhales slowly and lays her forehead against the brunette’s. Her body feels less sore than before and she can sense her powers slowly but surely coming back to her.  “Lena” Kara takes the other woman’s hands in her own in an attempt to convey everything she’s feeling “I’m so sorry you had to find out about me like this; it was never my intention to- “

“I already knew.” Lena cuts her off.

“I-what?” The expression on Kara’s face would be incredibly funny if not because of the situation they were currently in.

“I always knew, Kara.” Lena smiles reassuringly as she caresses their entwined hands. “Does that really come off as a surprise to you?” She chuckles.

“I- well, you never said anything.” The bewilderment on Kara’s tone of voice is palpable.

“You never asked.” Lena merely shrugs. The blonde doesn’t know whether she should feel more confused over the fact that Lena knew this entire time or that apparently, she was the one supposed to _ask_ the other about the topic.

 “Uh, ladies?” J’onn’s voice calls them. “I’d hate to interrupt but I have a job to do” he looks pointedly at Kara “and so do you.”

“Right” Kara nods as she slips back into “ _Supergirl mode”_. She looks around the room until her eyes finally find Lex. Her brow furrows upon seeing him looking _almost_ bored. “Oh, absolutely not.” She says as she walks to him.

“You know” she says as she reaches him and grabs him by the collar of his shirt “it’s not really my style, but I guess today I can make an exception.” Before anybody has time to interfere, she punches him hard on the face. Much to everybody’s confusion, Lex starts fully laughing.

“What is so funny?” Supergirl growls at the man.

“Please, you didn’t really think I’d bring a Super into my home and not have a card up my sleeve, right?” Something is off. Kara feels she should move but her grip on the man’s collar and determination to at least get him to apologise to Lena slow her down a little. Okay, maybe some more than a little because the rumbling sound of the explosion erupts in her ears way before she can notice the remote clutched tightly in Lex’s hand.

She turns her head so fast a regular human would have gotten whiplash. She can’t see anything beyond a couple of meters ahead of her due to all the smoke and dust, yet she’s about to leap into action when Lex’s chuckle makes her blood boil. Kara turns her head back to him and stands up as she holds Lex even harsher than before. She doesn’t even tear her gaze away from his eyes after she hears the sound of the pipeline break. Judging by the small grimace on Lex’s mouth, Kara thinks his left wrist might have broken on the process. But she can’t bring herself to care.

Not wanting to waste a second more with him, she throws him aside as he were a ragdoll and runs where she was previously standing.

It’s really hard to find anyone, given that the explosion sent them all down and it’s quite difficult to hear anything apart from the unflagging whistle echoing in her head but a piercing scream coming from Gomez manages to reach both her and J’onn’s ears.

The Spanish woman had been standing the closest to the detonation so her body took the worst of it and she has practically been burned alive. Despite not being able to see as clearly as they’d wish and thus barely making out what’s in front of them, J’onn and Kara quickly come to the woman’s aid, albeit there’s not much neither of them can do to spare her. They don’t want to voice it, but even the woman herself is aware: in a couple of minutes, she’ll be gone.

Kara watches impotently the life being drawn out of her former team when she realises something’s off.

J’onn realises the spot Kara’s looking at. “Where is he?” J’onn yells between coughs. “Where is he?!”

“Where’s Lena?” She raises her voice completely ignoring him as she frantically looks around the room.

“Lex probably took her.” J’onn says pointing to the pool of blood and the broken pipeline lying next to it. “He is injured so he can’t have made it very far”.

“We have to find her.” Kara stands up quickly and prepares herself to run off.

“Kara, you’re still too weak to-“ J’onn never managed to finish his warning for Kara is already gone.

What neither of them realises at the time is that not only are both Luthors missing, but Kara’s backpack as well.

***

Lena has never been angrier in her whole life. This doesn’t come even remotely close to the time she was pushed off her own building. No. This is a thousand times worse because this time it’s not her safety the one at risk; but Kara’s.

The CEO clutches the small gun she had grabbed from Lex’s armoury once she’d realised he’d bolted as she walks down the long corridors. This building is incredibly big so she feels a little disoriented but she follows the little dots on blood on the floor.

A loud metal noise startles her and now she wishes she had waited for Kara in order to go find her brother together but she quickly shakes the fear off as she’s determined to protect the blonde. Because she’d made a promise to herself practically the same day after meeting the reporter for the first time that she’d protect her no matter the cost. And she intended on keeping that promise; even if her own life was the cost.

Lena knows she’s getting closer to Lex; she can feel it in the way the hair at the base of her neck arises and the temperature of the next corridor she walks through drops. She’s a little bit scared of what Lex might do, but the thought of bringing Kara to safety is much stronger so she pushes through.

All of a sudden she hears steps coming from the corridor on her left so she takes a deep breath, raises the gun to chest level and points ahead. She mentally counts down the seconds as she readies herself to face her brother: 3, 2, 1…

“Fuck, Kara!” Lena quickly lowers the gun as she comes face to face with the blonde.

“Geez, Lena!” Kara’s hand is on her chest; her heart beating incredibly hard. “Did you want to give me a heart attack?”

“I thought you were Lex!” The brunette defends herself.

“I thought _you_ were Lex.” Kara takes notice then of the gun on Lena’s possession. “Lena” she starts in a warning voice.

“Don’t.” Lena cuts her off. “Don’t you dare tell me I should go back. You’re not facing my brother alone.”

“It’s too dangerous. I think I’d be safer for you to go back to J’onn and let me find Lex.” Even though the brunette is clearly not letting the superhero go on her own, the latter still insists. “Lena, it’s too dange-“

“I swear to God” Lena grunts as she walks past Kara and further down the depths of the building “if you tell me it’s too dangerous once more, I’ll fling myself into the next explosion.”

Although Lena’s tone leaves no room for discussion, Kara still tries to persuade her. “Lena, _please_ ” the blonde’s plea makes the brunette stop in her tracks and turn around to face the superhero “when I saw you tied up in that chair, I-“ Kara has to stop midsentence otherwise she knows her voice will crack. She closes her eyes and takes a moment to recompose herself before resuming. “I felt powerless. The sight of you so defenceless did more damage to me than Kryptonite. All I care about right now is your wellbeing.”

“Well then we have a problem.” Lena’s voice is softer now albeit she hasn’t changed her mind. “Because all that matters to me is _your_ wellbeing.”

Kara ducks her head smiling as she shakes it. “You are the most stubborn person I have ever met, you do know that, right?”

“Thank you very much.” Lena smiles back as she reprehends her way down the corridor.

They realise the trail of blood ends right in front of a closed door. Neither of them can’t hear anything behind it but they get ready for whatever they may face once the door is opened.

“So” Lena asks right as Kara is about to burst the door open “what’s your plan?”

“My plan was to follow your plan!”

“We’ll improvise then.” Lena shrugs as she nods at Kara to proceed.

***

J’onn is frantically pacing through the long corridors looking for both of the girls. The feeling of blame and guilt for his former DEO team weights a ton on his shoulders. In only one day, not only has he lost all his DEO team, but also a little bit of faith in himself. He thought he could handle this; he thought he was prepared. But turns out the whole situation surpasses his possibilities. Or so he believes.

He’s been walking for ten minutes now and still he hasn’t found Lex nor Kara. J’onn realises this may or may not be related to the fact that this is the fourth left he makes.

So he slows down and leans against the wall. The Martian closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, desperately trying to focus and find Lex. He knows it’s a matter of time before he does, really; because a limping bleeding man could not be that hard to locate. However, that doesn’t stop him from worrying, because he had been so damn close to accomplish his task. If J’onn had shown up only a couple of seconds later… He doesn’t even want to think about what would have happened to Kara.

He shakes his head and pushes himself upright. He is being driven purely by anger by now but as he clenches his teeth he pushes aside the thought that, once they get back to the United States, he’ll have to fill loads of paperwork and provide lots and lots of explanations but that will not matter anymore: because Lex Luthor will be dead by then. Of that, J’onn is sure of.

***

It’s sort of a… bedroom? If you could call it that. When Kara had kicked the door open, they had expected to find maybe a room full of computers, or an armoury or literally anything else but Lex’s personal room.

It’s awfully quiet in there and Lena thinks this room could do with a couple more lamps because it’s ridiculous how little light there is, but still Kara manages to make out his silhouette in the back of the room.

Without thinking twice about it, she launches herself against him. And it should’ve been a sign the fact that Lex had surely heard the door being forced open and didn’t move a single muscle. And it should’ve been a sign that he had been clearly waiting for them. And it _definitely_ should’ve been a sign the small little fluorescent green light radiating from around his body. Nevertheless, that didn’t catch the superhero’s attention in time, only Lena’s but as the woman’s cry of “ _Kara!_ ” reaches the blonde’s ears, it’s too late.

Lex’s springs around in one swift motion despite the undeniable pain he must feel on his leg and grabs Kara by the neck. The pain has Kara gasping for air before she can even identify what hit her. A mechanical arm fuelled by Kryptonite.

“I thought you’d already run out of that.” Kara pants heavily as her whole body is slipping back into defenceless mode. Lena can sense it too.

“Please, I’ve got a stockpile that would kill at least a hundred like you.” Lex’s smirks get more and more sickening by the minute and Lena decides to finally put an end to it.

She clutches the gun more tightly and aims at her brother. “Let her go.” She demands. She then looks at Kara, the look on the brunette’s face a mix between reproach for not having let her come on her own and apology for not having been able to prevent this. “What were you thinking?!” She whisper-yells at the reporter “you aren’t fully recovered to fight anybody yet.”

“Can you please save it until I’m not going to die?” Kara manages to say between ragged breaths.

“Lower the gun, Lena.” Lex’s tone is cold and calculating. “If you don’t” he adds when Lena doesn’t move a muscle “I’ll choke the life out of her.”

It’s a trap. She knows it is. Even so, she hesitantly does as she’s told. She crouches down to the ground and lays the gun carefully on the ground. Lex, not yet satisfied with her sister’s obedience, asks her to kick it far from her reach. So she does.

Kara watches powerlessly the scene unfold without being able to do absolutely nothing besides trying her hardest not to pass out. It’s turning out to be more difficult than she thinks and as she feels Lex tighten his grip on her neck, she almost wishes she had already fainted.

“Now, please” Lena implores “let her go.”

Lex smirks and pushes Kara to Lena with such force he almost sends them both to the ground if not because Lena braced herself for the impact and engulfed Kara in her embrace.

“Are you okay?” Lena grabs Kara by her arms and spins her around so she can see her face. The blonde cannot articulate a single word so she merely nods, although not convincingly.

“You’ve made this really awkward, ladies.” Lex speaks over the women’s voices as he holds up Kara’s backpack and grabs the content inside. “I already made my grand speech and what am I supposed to do now, huh?” He is angry as he points the gun to Kara, just like he did before J’onn shot him.

“Should I repeat myself or simply pull the trigger and be done with it? I’ve got a plane to catch, you know? And you’ve made me lose plenty of time already.” He mocks them. “It’s alright” he adds quickly before neither of them can say anything “I’ve already made up my mind.” That’s the last thing he says before he pulls the trigger and exits the room.

The bullet goes into Kara’s chest; the impact being so strong that it makes her recoil back a couple of steps. She falls to the ground before Lena’s fearful eyes.

“Lena-”

“We need to find J’onn, I’m sure he-“

“Lena” Kara calls her more firmly this time, leaving no room for more interruptions. “There’s no time.” Lena looks down at Kara’s chest expecting to find a huge stain of dripping blood. Instead, she sees a small white light increasing its size by the second, as if it were swallowing Kara.

“Lena” the blonde’s surprisingly calm voice draws Lena’s attention back to her face. The CEO is crying; knowing her best friend will soon be gone “you’re gonna forget me.”

“I won’t.” Lena has never been surer of anything in her life. And so she repeats it like a mantra, not even sure if she’s reiterating it for Kara’s sake or her own “I won’t, I won’t.”

“You will.” The blonde is pretty calm given the situation and Lena doesn’t know whether it’s merely an act so the brunette won’t lose whatever is left of her sanity, or if Kara truly feels calm because she knows there’s nothing else they can do at this point.

“I don’t want to forget you.” Lena cries as she clutches onto Kara, afraid that if she loosens her grip even the slightest, she’ll slip out of her fingers even faster.

“You don’t have a choice.” The reporter caresses Lena’s face. She quickly glances down at her chest and realises the white light has pretty much covered all of her torso already. “You’re going to have to find a way to remember me, okay?”

“Do you remember the day we met?” Kara gently asks her. “You were wearing a lovely red top and you” she pauses briefly in order to keep her own tears at bay; she needs to be strong for Lena “you mocked me because I told you I worked for CatCo”. Kara chuckles despite the pain.

“Remember how you saved my life?”

“You saved my life too.” Lena responds. The white light has engulfed Kara’s whole body. All that’s left is her head. Kara uses the last seconds she has left to carry on.

“Remember how I’m pretty much always a rambling mess whenever you’re around? Or how I cannot seem to articulate a decent sentence when you stare at me for too long? Just remember-“ She whispers as the light is a couple of seconds away from completely taking her. “Remember I love you.”

Lena doesn’t get the chance to respond because next thing she knows, she’s clutching onto thin air. The spot where Kara was sitting seconds prior is now empty.


	4. The Aftermath

“Has the virus of the informatic system been dealt with already?”

“Uh, not yet, Mrs. Grant.” Winn fidgets nervously with the hem of his red plaid shirt as he stands awkwardly by the door; not daring to step into the woman’s office. “The hacker was really good.”

“What are you waiting for then?” Cat asks clearly unamused by Winn’s restlessness. “Should I get rid of you and get a new IT guy?” She asks bored as she picks up her phone.

“No, no!” He raises slightly his voice in panic, extending his palms in front of him in the process, as if he needed to defend himself from something invisible standing in front of him. “I need a couple more hours to-“

“Two full hours?” There is something akin to disgust reeking from her tone of voice. Noting she has made him recoil back, she takes a deep breath and speaks again calmer this time. “Do you know why I hired you in the first place, Will?”

“Uh, my name’s not-“

“I hired you” she stands up and circles her own desk to lean on the surface directly in front of the boy “because your curriculum was quite impressive. But if you feel surpassed by the _simple_ task I asked of you” she makes sure to draw out the last word “I’m sure I’ll find someone else to do it in no time.”

“There’s no need for that, Mrs. Grant.” He reassures her. He starts to walk backwards into the safety of his own desk; his hands, once again, open and in front of him. “I’ll fix Catco’s system in a flash”. He makes a move to leave, but before he can turn his back to his boss, the sound of the news being played on Cat’s computer stops him.

_“There’s been a fire in a building a few blocks away from where we’re standing right now”_ the reporter informs as she points behind her where a column of smoke is ascending to the sky. “ _The fire started a little over ten minutes ago and witnesses say it’s_ -“

Winn’s hand flies instinctively into his pocket, feeling as if he needed to make a call, but his hand stops as it reaches his phone. He realises the firefighters are already there and there’s no one he knows that could have possibly gotten injured so, why did he feel he had to make an important call?

He shrugs it off, attributing it to a reflex movement to danger and focuses again on the news. “Look at that” Cat says, her tone sounds ever so little impressed “who took that photo? It was obviously not an amateur, look at the way they captured the scene.” The photo was of one of the firefighters running bravely into the flames to save an old lady who had been left behind.

“Uh” Winn narrows his eyes and tries to read the caption under the picture that’s currently being displayed on the screen “it’s from, uh, James Olsen.”

“Do you know him?” Cat asks him suddenly interested in the author of the picture.

“Not personally, no.” Winn laments. “All I know is that he’s a photographer for the Daily Planet. He’s worked there for some years now.”

“Hm” the woman purses her lips deep in thought and silence fills the office for quite some time. Winn is starting to feel uncomfortable, not knowing if he should stay or leave. He opts for the latter when the voice of Cat speaking up again makes him draw his attention back to her. “I want him here at Catco. Find him. Hire him.”

Winn opens his mouth but Cat beats him to it. “That’ll be all, Jim. You can leave now.”

He nods his head, not wanting to spend any more seconds than strictly necessary with his demanding boss and so he finally leaves.

He doesn’t know who this James is and he doubts he’ll be even remotely interested in working for Catco. But, in order to avoid a reprimand from Cat, he’ll find him. After all, it cannot be worse than trying to get rid of the virus he accidentally downloaded in the first place.

***

“Hey, man, congratulations on the promotion!” His peer pats him on the back as James walks past him on his way to the lift. “That picture was incredible.”

“Thanks, man!” He smiles proudly. “We should go get some beers tomorrow after work to celebrate. My treat.”

“Absolutely.” The other man responds before James gets on the lift.

It’s starting to get dark when he steps outside the building. Still, he likes it; he’s always liked the darkness of the night, there’s something poetic about it. He starts to make his way to the subway when something catches his eye: a man walking hurriedly towards him.

He clenches his teeth and mentally prepares himself to fight this man. Because someone coming that decidedly towards you at night can only want to steal from you, right? As the mysterious man inches closer, James expects him to push him over or hit him. What he doesn’t see coming is for that man to stand right in front of him and study his face in detail.

“May I help you?” James asks once it’s clear the other man won’t say anything. He forces his voice into a deeper tone and pumps his chest out, intending on looking bigger; although now that he sees the other man from up close, he realises there’s truly no need, for he’s actually pretty small.

“Are you James Olsen?” Okay, now under the streetlight, where James has a clear view of this man, he can say he looks more like the type of guy who would get stolen from and not the other way around. Even so, he doesn’t let his guard down.

“And who might you be?” He crosses his arms in front of him.

“Oh my God, where are my manners?” The other man opens his eyes wide as if he’d forgotten something really important. “I’m Winn, Winn Schott.” He smiles sincerely and extends his hand to James, who hesitantly shakes it in return.

“Yes, I am James.” He says examining Winn up and down. “Why are you looking for me?”

“I work at Catco” the shorter man explains as he gesticulates exaggeratedly with his hands “my boss saw your photo of the fire today and was wondering if you’d like to work at the firm.”

“No offense, dude” he chuckles “but I feel like going to Catco after being promoted at the Daily Planet would be like taking a step back in my career.”

“You got promoted!” Winn says surprised; gesticulating even more if that was possible. “That’s amazing, congratulations!”

“Uh, thanks.” Albeit this whole situation is incredibly weird; something keeps nagging at James. “What did you say was your name?”

“Winn.” He repeats smiling from ear to ear. “Winn Schott.”

“Huh” is all the taller man is able to get out.

“Why?” Winn asks excitedly. “Have you heard of me?”

“No, no.” Winn’s face falls a little and James feels a little bit sorry for letting this stranger down. “I just feel like we’ve met before.”

“Oh” he raises his eyebrows but shakes his head “no, I’d remember if we’d met.”

James merely nods. “Well, I better make it home quick. It looks like it’ll rain tonight.”

Seeing as neither of them has anything else to say to the other, they bid their farewells and part ways. As they walk further and further away from each other, they both feel like something isn’t right, however, Winn nor James can’t quite put their fingers on it.

So neither of them turns their head back although they both really want to.

***

“I don’t mean to meddle; but it’s pretty late already, Mrs. Luthor. Shouldn’t you go home and get some rest?”

Lena raises her head from the desk she’s worked on tirelessly for the past 13 hours to greet the little woman stood fumblingly right by the door. “I will in a minute, I have to finish this first. Thanks, Jess.”

The secretary nods understandingly and spins on her heel about to leave when a thought hits her. “Oh, Mrs. Luthor; your brother wanted to know if you’ll be attending the Gala tomorrow?”

“Yes, I’ll be there” Lena responds quickly. “And please forgive me, I’ve been really busy today so I haven’t been able to order potstickers; sorry. I know how much you like them.”

Jess raises her eyebrow, confusion written all over her face. “But Mrs. Luthor, I don’t eat any. I believe you got me confused with somebody else.”

“No?” Now Lena’s the one perplexed. “I guess I must’ve been thinking of someone else, then.” She murmurs more to herself than to Jess. She was entirely convinced that, for some reason, there _had_ to be potstickers at the party.

“Well, um, goodnight, Mrs. Luthor.” Jess takes advantage of Lena’s distraction to effectively make her way out the door; not even waiting for her boss to answer.

Lena is left behind in the semidarkness of her office; the only light turned on is her rather small lamp placed on the desk.

She spins on her chair and contemplates all the city lights adorning the night sky. Despite the extremely tiring and busy day she’s had at work, it’s such a peaceful night. She gets up from her chair and walks out the balcony. She can’t remember when she had it built and it even sounds pretty stupid to her that she had someone built it at all, given that she barely, or rather _never_ , comes out here. But, oh well, it’s not like she’s going to get rid of it now, is she?

It’s a little chilly outside but Lena pays no attention to the temperature as she leans on the railing and inhales deeply; feeling her muscles too weary for one’s wellbeing. She’s been working on the same project for over a fortnight now and she’s both thrilled and anxious to show Lex.

She knew he wouldn’t be too harsh about it was the device not fully operating, but still, she needed it to be perfect. She wanted to make him proud of her.

It had taken them _years_ to get where they were and she wasn’t about to screw up now. Ever since Lena graduated from MIT, her and Lex have been working together at LuthorCorp, which was originally funded by their father but, after he died under strange circumstances, it was passed down to his children. Both siblings have been running the firm together ever since.

Even though Lex was the main heir of the multibillionaire company, he soon made Lena CEO; not because she was his sister, but because she excels in the field of robotics and even though he has never said it out loud, he shows great respect for her work.

Still, Lena feels she has to prove her worth everyday and it’s honestly exhausting. Lex is constantly examining in excruciating detail every little step she makes, always making sure she pushes herself even further in order to get their company to improve. _‘We must always be the best, sis’_ he would remind her every time Lena slacked a little. So she would aim higher, work harder and sleep less.

For a really long time, Lena did not understand why her brother wanted- no, _felt the need_ to be at all times on top and she would ask him on many occasions but every time she did, she would obtain the same answer: _‘We need to prepare ourselves’_.

_‘Prepare for what?’_ Lena would request.

_‘For the oncoming era’_. That’s all the brunette would be able to get from Lex so after having the exact same interaction for the umpteenth time, Lena would let it go. And so eventually she stopped asking questions altogether.

What’s more, LuthorCorp has been for the past few weeks working much more intently because of the growing rivalry it has with another company. It’s not as big or as powerful as the Luthor’s is but still, it holds great potential to become a real threat. That’s why Lex will not allow the smallest mistake among his workers. At the slightest failure any of them makes, he’s already announced he’ll fire them before they can even utter the word _‘sorry’_.

So everyone has been working extrahours, taking longer shifts and fully dedicating themselves to the new project they’ll present at the Gala tomorrow night. Lena knows there’s nothing to worry about, for this project was her idea and she’s certain it _will_ work, yet she can’t help but feel a little bit anxious. She always does whenever she has to exhibit a new prototype, albeit she never allows herself to look remotely scared. She radiates confidence on the outside while she may be trembling on the inside. It’s one of her many talents, she thinks.

As she makes her way back inside her office, the sofa at the end of the room draws her attention and she decides to sit down for a while. She’ll go back to her table and submerge herself with work once her mind feels relaxed enough but, for now, all she wants is to empty her mind of everything.

 It’s moments like this, when she’s walking across her office that she realises how unnecessarily big it is. She barely holds meetings in there and it’s rare for her to grant interviews so there’s really no other reason but to maintain the appearance of ‘ _the boss’s huge office’_ for it to be this wide.

She sits down on the sofa and her eyes unconsciously go to the door, as if they were expecting a visitor this late at night. She realises her reaction and averts her gaze from the entrance, attributing it to fatigue and yearning to just go home, not giving it much more thought.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Lena is incredibly tired but she still has to prepare her speech for the big Gala tomorrow. A party for which she has no desire to attend in the first place, but she’s the CEO, so she has no other choice but to go. Lex will also be there, but he suggested her sister in front of the whole board to do the opening speech and since all investors agreed, she cannot get out of it.

She’s about to sit on her table when she concludes she’s rather sit on the comfort of her own house while writing down the lines, so she packs her things and makes her way downstairs and into the parking lot of the company, ready to drive off home.

As she starts the engine of the car she thinks once again of the dreadful Gala. If only she could at least count on a friend to accompany her, she knows she’d be able to get through the night more easily.

***

He hops off the bus knowing he tried, at least he’ll be able to tell his boss that he did. However, Winn knows that won’t be enough to please Mrs. Grant. Tomorrow first thing in the morning she’ll ask him when will James incorporate himself to the company and Winn will have to tell her the photographer won’t. He grimaces and he pictures Cat Grant’s displeased face being displayed only for and because of him.

His place is a little bit over a 20-minute walk and albeit there’s another bus he could take to get home, he decides it’s not that far away and starts to make his way down the street. Besides, he is going to need the fresh air outside to clear his mind from the conversation he'll inevitably have with his boss tomorrow.

Not five minutes after, he feels the first drop of rain on the tip of his nose; quickly followed by another and another until it’s full on raining. He curses under his breath; hands inside his pockets and his head ducked as he picks up his pace.

Winn is so preoccupied with getting home as soon as possible that he doesn’t realise the traffic light has turned red as he crosses the street without bothering to look both sides. The sound of tires braking abruptly less than a meter away from him makes him come to a halt.

His hands already flying out of his pockets and coming to rest in front of him. Winn's eyes are open wide but because of the bright lights of the car he cannot make out anything else beyond the figure exiting the car and rushing towards him.

“Oh, God. Are you okay?” The driver asks him worriedly as they close the car’s door behind them.

“Yeah, yeah.” His heart is beating incredibly fast due to the scare, but other than that, he’s fine.

“I can call an ambulance if you’d like.” The woman offers as she pulls out her phone, already calling 911.

“No, no” Winn deflects “I’m totally fine. Scared, not gonna lie” he chuckles “but I don’t have a single scratch.”

The woman is not entirely convinced but he reassures her again that he’s completely okay and that seems to at least ease her nerves.

“Let me at least drive you home.” She feels bad because she knows she could’ve prevented it hadn’t she been so distracted. The woman grimaces as she recalls how little attention she was paying the road.

“Oh, don’t worry about it.” Winn answers. “I’m only 15 minutes away.” The woman stills insists and already sensing how persistent this woman can be, he agrees.

They get inside the car and the woman resumes driving once Winn’s given her some general indications. After that, silence reigns in the car until the boy speaks up.

“I’m Winn, by the way. Winn Schott.” He suddenly says, realising it’s the second time today he’s forgotten to introduce himself. He then extends his hand to the woman, but after realising she can’t shake his hand because she’s driving, he sheepishly makes a small joke about it and takes it back.

“Lena” the brunette lets out a small laugh at Winn’s behaviour. “Lena Luthor.”

Winn’s mouth is hung open by the time he’s heard his driver’s name. “L-Luthor?” he stammers “as in the CEO of LuthorCorp?!”

“Exactly.” Lena is a little bit wary of the reaction she may get now that Winn seems to know who she is. After all, it’s been like this her whole life: she meets someone, they get along but as soon as they learn her surname, they try to keep their distance.

“That’s so cool!” He exclaims excitedly, much to Lena’s surprise. “The machine you presented last year at the annual Luthor Gala was…” he seems at loss for words due to his excitement “absolutely outstanding, dude!” He is grinning from ear to ear and Lena can’t help but let a little smile of her own adorn her face.

“Winn-“ Lena’s expressions suddenly changes to a more focused one.

“God, sorry” Winn blurts out as he notices his mistake “I meant miss. It wasn’t my intention to offend you or disrespect you in anyway, I just-“

“Winn, I’m not offended” she explains, this time laughing “it’s just that there’s an intersection right in front of us and you haven’t told me which way to go.”

“Oh!” He laughs along with her while facepalming himself. “Make a left.”

Lena does as she’s told and they’re by the boy’s front door in no time. Winn thanks her for getting him home; the woman shrugs it off, saying it was nothing. They wave goodbye at each other before Winn disappears into his house.

Lena shakes her head side to side once she’s left alone and chuckles to herself. This was a weird night in all aspects. She drives off and luckily enough manages to make it home without any more incidents.

Right as she’s crossed her threshold, she kicks her shoes off and plumps down the nearest chair. She pours herself a glass of wine and opens up her laptop; she has a speech to write after all and she intends on it being magnificent.

It takes her longer than she’d originally anticipated and by the time she’s satisfied with the result her clock shows one in the morning. She massages her temple, finally allowing her body to feel the tiredness from the whole day.

She changes into her pyjamas and gets into bed. She hopes to at least have a peaceful slumber, however, her dreams tonight along with many nights to come will show her a series of mysterious experiences she can’t quite pinpoint if were ever real or not.

***

Her alarm is too loud and her headache too strong. She was partying way too hard last night and she doesn’t find it in herself to get up from bed.

Grunting and cursing on everyone and everything Alex rubs her eyes and groggily gets up. She takes a quick shower and grabs an apple out of the fruit bowl on the kitchen before making it out the door.

Right next to it there’s an invitation she’s been trying to ignore for the past days but tonight will have to face. It says: _‘You’ve been cordially invited to the Luthor Gala on the 11 th of June at 9pm. We hope to see you there.’_

“I guess I have no choice but to go.” Alex mutters under her breath.

There’s no way she can get out of this. At the end of the day, she works for LuthorCorp’s main competence.


	5. This ain't quite right

She makes it twenty minutes early to work, as she always does. She likes having the extra time to arrange her stuff, put on her lab coat, read through yesterday’s work and get started on today’s.

Alex paces through the empty corridors of the building until she reaches the lab her boss assigned her once she started working in the company. It’s a rather big white room filled with incredibly expensive equipment.

Alex greets the cleaning lady when she steps in the room. The older woman, already almost done, smiles back at her and shortly after walks out the laboratory, leaving Alex completely alone. Not that she minds, though, if anything, she prefers it that way: not because she doesn’t like her peers- okay, so she might rather work on her own than surrounded by annoying and pretentious scientists who mistakenly think they’re remotely on the same level as her but even so, she knows it would take her five time longer to achieve the same things she does now with their help. Not that she would ever recognise she needs help; because she doesn’t. She’s the leader of the team, for God’s sake, so she knows more about genetic engineering than all of her colleagues’ brains combined.

Alex only wishes she could at least get to decide who’s in her team and who’s not. Instead, it was her boss, Maxwell Lord, who pretty much forced those people on her team. She tried to argue back -she really did- but all she managed to do was unnerve her boss who threatened to take the project she’s been working on restlessly for the past weeks away from her.

She’s already put on her lab coat and taken out her notes by the time the first of them arrives.

“Good morning, Ms. Danvers.” The boy greets her. Alex, however, doesn’t even bother to look up from her papers so she only hums in response.

He doesn’t take offense, for he is already used to Alex’s behaviour around them -especially around him- even if he was incorporated to the team not longer than a couple of months ago. He is the youngest of them all and he knows that can be a liability, considering all of his peers treat him as a kid who is incapable of making mature decisions.

A couple of minutes after, a couple of colleagues more, Martin and Zhao, come through the door, also bidding their hellos: the boy being the only one to acknowledge their presence.

There’s still one member left to arrive but given that it’s already 8 o’clock, Alex gathers them around and assigns them each a task for the day.

“Okay, people” she starts once she’s caught everyone’s attention “Martin and Edwards” she is looking intently at the paper on her left hand as she points at the pair with the tip of her pen “you both will be the ones in charge of section A.” She then shifts and points to the third member “Zhao, you’ll be working on section B; and I’ll be running the last tests on section C. Once I’m done I’ll come over to your sections and we’ll try to finish them before the end of the day. Any questions?”

As if on cue, the last group member barges hurriedly through the door, her backpack slumping off her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry” she stutters as all eyes fall on her. She runs over to the table they’re all gathered around and takes out her notepad “I fell asleep.”

“This better not happen again.” Comes Alex’s stern voice. The girl swallows hard and nervously nods her head, not daring to open her mouth.

“We are falling behind, guys” Alex’s tone turns harsh and the tension around the room arises. “LuthorCorp is far ahead of us and we cannot tolerate this kind of carefree behaviour.” She looks pointedly at the girl, who lowers her shoulders before her boss’ rigid stare. “Tonight the Luthors will present a new model. No one knows what is it yet, but you can bet your asses all investors will be drooling over the idea of being the main source financing.” She is pacing around the room as she speaks. “And if any of _our_ investors finds their project worth investing in and we consequently lose their money, well” she sarcastically chuckles “Maxwell won't be happy about it.”

She stops right in front of the girl inching closer and stares at her for a solid five seconds before resuming her speech. “I’ve been working my ass off too long for someone else to ruin it for me. Because we’re a _team_ ” she drags the last word almost venomously “so if one of us falls; we all do.”

The girl looks as if she were holding back tears but Alex doesn’t wait for anybody to intervene. Instead, she walks off to her table and gets started with the project. There’s a small part of her that feels bad for the way she acted; she thinks she may have sounded too harsh. _‘But that’s how life works’_ she tells herself. No one’s ever given her anything for free, she’s always had to work for it. _‘You won’t make many friends if you’re always acting so violently’_ she hears her mother’s voice inside her head yet she pushes it aside. She doesn’t need friends nor no one to talk to. She’s perfectly content on her own.

***

He walks down the corridors of the facility with a stern look on his face. His side hurts a little but he doesn’t let it show as he approaches his desk.

Once he’s closed the door behind him and has made sure he’s alone, J’onn leans on the table and lets out a strangled grunt of pain. He clutches his side as the pain intensifies and hastily lifts his shirt up.

And it makes no sense. He isn’t bleeding nor does he have a wound; what he has on his side could barely be considered a scratch: a scratch he doesn’t recall when it was caused. So, how come it is causing him that much pain? He had paid no attention yesterday morning when he woke up and attributed it to a bad night’s sleep but this morning it was the same.

At first, he considered going to see a doctor but ultimately discarded the idea because he thought it was ridiculous to even ponder going to the doctor for a scratch. J’onn hoped the pain would just go away, but it’s been almost 48 hours and it still hasn’t.

He walks over to the drawer on his desk and pulls out a small bottle of pills. He swallows one and closes his eyes, hoping to feel better by the time the first emergency pops up.

He’s been drowning in work lately. Ever since a couple of weeks ago, there’s been a wave of alien related attacks all around National City and the current staff of the DEO cannot cope with all of them. He needs more people.

With that thought in mind, he pulls down his shirt, takes a deep breath and goes out the door; determined to come back with a new recruit.

J’onn arrives at his destination sooner than he’d expected. He stands outside the building a couple of seconds to try to gather his thoughts before making his way inside.

“Good morning, how can I help you?” Comes the chirpy voice of the girl at the reception.

“Hi, I’d like to see Alexandra Danvers.” J’onn informs as he looks around the hall. There’s a lot of workers running around carrying a variety of things; ranking from mere documents to metal pieces inside wood boxes.

“Did you have an appointment?” The girl frowns as she types rapidly on her computer. “Because I’ve been told not to disturb Ms. Danvers while she’s working.”

“The Luthors send me.” He raises his hand which had been hidden behind the desk to reveal a folder filled with papers. “We tried to send an important fax last night but the machine wouldn’t work, so they sent me personally to hand them in.”

The girl doesn’t look entirely convinced but before she can argue with him, J’onn speaks up. “You do know the Luthors are hosting a _very_ important and expensive Gala tonight, right?” He inches closer as if he were telling the girl a secret. “And I guess you wouldn’t want Mr. Lord to know he had been ruled out of the guest list just because we couldn’t get him to read the new conditions and you didn’t let me in, right?”

That seems to do the trick, because the girl visually gulps and nods in approval, already handing J’onn a visitor’s pass. The man doesn’t utter another word as he walks to the lift; a discrete smirk adorning his face.

There’s a loud knock on the door and everyone’s eyes shoot up except for Alex’s, who pays no mind to it. Seeing as their boss has purposely decided to not acknowledge the visitor, the rest of the team duck their heads and resume their tasks. But then there’s a second, and a third and a fourth knock; the latter louder than the previous until Alex can’t take the incessant noise anymore and stomps angrily to the door.

“We’re trying to work here so if you could just back the f-” She yells before the door is even fully open but when she sees who’s standing on the other side her mouth shuts.

“Hello there.” J’onn smirks, starting to make his way inside the laboratory.

“Oh, hell no.” Alex panics as she pushes him outside and closes the door behind them so her colleagues won’t hear them. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“So you remember me.” The pleased man raises his eyebrow and lets out a small chuckle, which only adds to Alex’s annoyance.

“You’re incredibly hard to forget.” She grunts. Her arms are crossed in front of her as she stands in a defensive pose whereas J’onn’s hands are inside his pockets and he looks pretty calm.

“Thank you very much.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.” She is quick to correct him. “What do you want from me?”

“Same thing I wanted eight months ago when we first met” he tells her “to recruit you.”

Alex snorts mockingly and starts pacing around the little space between J’onn’s body and the door. The man waits patiently but Alex doesn’t look at him; instead, she closes her eyes and massages her temple at the same time as she recalls the fateful night.

_“Alex Danvers.”_

_“I didn’t ask to talk to a lawyer.” She muffles between her hands. There's an unceasingly pounding inside her head, so the last thing she needs right now is a prying lawyer sticking his nose in her life. They’ve put her in a cell smaller than would be considered adequate, which only adds to her aggravation. She now knows she shouldn’t have drunk that much and she definitely shouldn’t have taken the car._

_“It’s a good thing I’m not a lawyer.” The man takes a seat on the bench closest to the cell and watches her out of the corner of his eyes._

_“What? Are you a priest, then? You’re wasting your time.” She teases him. “I’m not exactly a prime candidate for jailhouse conversion.” She only wants him to go away. She doesn’t have the energy nor the desire to talk to this man yet for some reason he seems determined to stay._

_“Well, I wouldn’t think so. Scientists are generally sceptics.” He explains. “Not that you’re much of a scientist these days…” he takes a little jab at her which finally makes Alex gain interest in the conversation. She straightens her back and pushes the drunkenness aside to fully focus on him._

_“What do you know about me?” She demands._

_“I know a lot of things about you, Alex.” He sounds calmer now that he realises Alex’s intently listening him. “I know about your house in Midvale where every night you’d watch the stars from your roof” he pauses as he watches Alex closely “and I know why you got kicked out of MIT.”_

_Alex furrows her brow angrily, pushing herself up and turning around to face this man who had yet to introduce himself. “I got a PhD.” She growls._

_“Yes” J’onn is still seated, not caring one bit that he made Alex upset “but you were kicked out a couple of months before graduating. They only let you come back after Maxwell Lord intervened. That’s why you work for him now,” Alex is practically fuming by now but J’onn is determined to push her farther “because you feel like you owe him.”_

_“Stop talking about things you don’t know shit about!” Alex hits the bars separating them loudly enough for the echo to resound all the way down the corridor but J’onn doesn’t even flinch._

_“I found your thesis really interesting.” His comment only make Alex grow angrier at the memory of her college years but J’onn doesn’t find it in himself to care. He puts his hands behind his back and paces along the little space on his side. “Your study on extra-terrestrial life and whether we are alone in the universe caught the attention of many.” He takes on a more serious tone and stops his pace in order to face Alex. “I know you were ridiculed and mocked by your peers to the point when you started to lose yourself along the way.”_

_J’onn briefly ducks his head down, as if the memory pained him as well. “And I know your professors found your thesis a little too…” he stops midsentence; struggling to find the right words “immature for someone that brilliant, as they put it themselves.”_

_“They said my study belonged in the shelf right next to the fantasy genre.” She growled as her time spent in college comes back to haunt her. “I worked incredibly hard on that project for it to backfire right on my face.”_

_“One is not responsible for the way people perceive their truth: you tell yours, so you cannot expect for other people to understand it to the same extent you do.”_

_Silence fills the room as Alex lets J’onn’s words sink in. She still doesn’t trust him, but at least now she thinks whatever he has to say might be worth hearing._

_“I didn’t get your name.” Alex’s voice cuts the quietness after a couple of minutes._

_“Hank. Hank Henshaw.” He extends his hand between the bars as he offers her a genuine smile. Alex hesitates but only momentarily because next think she knows, she’s shaking hands with the man._

_“I’m Alex Danvers.” She tells him back. “I’m aware you already knew that, I just didn’t want to be impolite.” That earned her a chuckle from him._

_“Come on” he nods towards the exit “I’ll talk to the police and we’ll get you out in no time.” Alex assents before he makes it out the door._

_Not longer than ten minutes after, Alex is already on the street. J’onn didn’t tell her how much her fine was and she didn’t ask. Instead, J’onn offers to drive her home and Alex is nevertheless a little wary of him because he is still pretty much a stranger to her however, when she realises she doesn’t have any more cash on her for a taxi she accepts._

_There’s small talk on the ride home but nothing too important. At least, Alex doesn’t make out much from the conversation other than the fact that J’onn, or rather ‘Hank’, doesn’t seem to let the topic of Alex’s thesis slide, but her head is starting to demand some sleep so she doesn’t pay much attention to what’s been said._

_The next morning however, she really really wishes she’d been listening because she wakes up to a little headache and an envelope she didn’t recall picking up from the mailbox sitting on her coffee table. She grabs it to take a better look at it and is surprised to find there’s no remittent on the back nor is her address written, which means this could not have been sent by mail, but rather someone left it there. She grows scared at the idea that somebody could potentially have been in her flat last night but right now she doesn’t have time to think because she’s already running pretty late to work. She grabs her phone, wallet and keys and gets on her way to work._

_Throughout the whole day she cannot stop thinking about the mysterious envelope and she gets anxious once she looks at the clock and realises she still has to work for another two hours before she can make it back home and look at its content._

_When the clock shows the end of her shift, she practically flies back home and throws herself on top of the coffee table, hastily tearing the paper apart to reveal a business card inside attached to a little note._

_‘The Universe is such a wide space. Sure we cannot be alone: we live among other forms of life. Who's to say we haven't been the aliens ourselves all along?’ We have a special place for you, Alex. Come work with us and you’ll see you’ve been right this whole time._

_The first couple of sentences were a quote taken out of her thesis; sent directly to her by a DEO agent -whatever that meant- according to the card. Right then she knows exactly who sent it to her. As if on cue, her phone rings:_

_“So, when will you be joining us?”_

_“Are you out of your mind?!” Alex is fuming. “You break into my house, in the middle of the night, only so you can make fun of me like the rest of the world did?” She breathes deeply into her nose as her hand shoots to her face in a desperate attempt to calm herself. “Go fuck yourself, Hank Henshaw. And I swear to God if you ever call me again or carry out any other bullshit stunt like this one, I’ll sue your ass.” She hangs up without waiting for a reply. As she does so, she lets out a loud growl filled with anger and lets herself fall onto her sofa._

_***_

“I thought I made it pretty clear the first time that I did _not_ want to work for you.”

“Are you happy working for Maxwell?” J’onn ignores her question as he throws her one of his own. “Because it doesn’t seem like it.”

“Oh, and working for you would be much different?” She replies sarcastically. “Because you’re _so_ charismatic.”

“You didn’t give me a proper reason for declining my offer.” He points out.

“Excuse me?! Is being a stalker and a creep not a good enough reason?” Alex frowns as she looks at him up and down. She thought she wouldn’t ever see him again after that day but oh boy was she wrong.

“I think you’re special, Alex.” J’onn sighs as he eases his tone, hoping to persuade her. “And it’d be an honour to work with someone as talented as you.”

“I already said no.” She replies coldly. “And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an actual job to get back to.”

Alex turns around to leave but J’onn’s hand grabbing her arm forces her to stop. She yanks her arm away from him and starts screaming, which finally draws the attention of her peers inside the lab. They come out in a hurry to see what is going on and once they see Alex in such a distress state, they step in.

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave, sir.” Edwards, the young boy, steps in-between Alex and J’onn and points to the lift for J’onn to leave. The latter however makes a move forwards to insist but Martin gets in his way and asks him more firmly to leave. He finally does as he’s told, seeing as this is not the moment to push.

Alex watches him walk away, but the tightness on her chest doesn’t disappear down the corridor like the man does.

She busies herself to an incredible extent for the rest of the day, keeping her mind as far away from J’onn as possible. She has to look presentable tonight: she’s got a Gala to go to after all.

***

“Are you ready to go?”

“It’ll be only a second.” Lena calls as she rummages through her makeup bag.

“You look gorgeous, love.” Jack leans down to kiss his wife on the lips as she offers him a tight smile. “What’s wrong?” He asks noticing the way Lena’s body seems tense.

“I’m really anxious about tonight. What if they don’t like it? What if it’s a disaster? What-?”

“Hey” he comes from behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her close. They stare at each other through the bathroom mirror “I was also tremendously anxious the day we got back together but I managed to push through because I knew the reward was worth it.” Lena smiles fondly as she recalls the night she saw her ex-boyfriend after three years since they broke up.

Jack went to National City to showcase the latest version of Biomax, a project that aimed to use nanotechnology to cure diseases like cancer. He and Lena had broken up right after Lena moved out of Metropolis in order to work in LuthorCorp with her brother, still Jack sent Lena an invitation to the presentation, hoping that she would show up.

Surprisingly enough to him, she did. He was presenting his project to the crowd when he spotted her sat among the audience. He smiled softly at her and Lena reciprocated the gesture. The rest of the presentation went well and after he finished, he stayed a while to answer all of the reporter’s questions, along with posing for some pictures here and there.

Once every journalist was satisfied with the content, Jack reunited with Lena and they chatted for a while until Jack asked her out to dinner when Lena congratulated him on his project. Lena was hesitant at first but eventually agreed, seeing as they seemed to have put the past behind them and one dinner could cause no harm.

And then after that night was another, and another, and another always followed by a series of flirtation comments and some blushing cheeks. And it went on like that for two years until he asked her to marry him.

“Hey, have you seen my lipstick?” Lena asks him as Jack is already putting his coat on.

“Which one?” Jack raises his eyebrow. It’s not that Lena had too many different lipsticks but he doesn’t really keep track of the ones she has so he is a little clueless.

“The one I wore at your presentation for the Biomax a couple of years ago. I really like it.” She explains.

“Which one is it?”

“Ugh” Lena playfully exhales “here, look.” She takes out her phone and quickly types something. When she finally finds what she is looking for, she extends her phone for Jack to see: it’s a picture of her in the audience when he was launching the Biomax; some lame photographer took it because nobody wanted to lose the opportunity to take a picture of a Luthor anytime the opportunity arose.

“I have no idea where it is.” Jack shrugs as he hands Lena her phone back. “But you look incredible nonetheless.”

Lena is about to keep her phone in her purse when something about the photo draws her attention in a way she cannot comprehend.

“What is it?” Jack leans closer when he sees Lena looking intently at the screen.

“Jack, wasn’t every single seat at the presentation sold out?”

“Yes, I believe so.” He does not understand where his wife is going with this.

“Then how come there’s an empty seat right next to me?” She frowns as she zooms in on the picture.

Jack’s expression suddenly changes. His jaw clenches slightly and his tone grows colder. “I don’t know. Whoever was there maybe went to the bathroom.”

“No.” Lena shakes her head. “I remember: the seat was empty the whole night.”

“It’s only a stupid seat, Lena. Drop it.” He grabs Lena’s jacket from the sofa and shoves it in her arms. “We have to leave now or else we’ll be late. I’ll start the car.”

She nods as she watches him go out the door. When he’s out of sight, Lena looks at the picture once more. Her fingers caress the empty space right next to her. No, that can’t be right, can it? It _almost_ looks as if something was missing. ‘ _No’_ , Lena realises, _‘it’s not something, but someone.’_


	6. We might be onto something here

It’s dark. And humid. She feels pain all across her body from having been still for so many hours. Her mind is spinning a thousand miles per hour and she can’t quite sort her thoughts.

When Kara opens her eyes, she can’t see much. ‘ _Oh, Rao_ ’ she thinks ‘ _not again’_. She is lying on the floor: this one being much colder than the one on Lex’s bunker. She helps herself up using her arms and winces from the pain coming from her chest. She looks down and the first surprise she encounters is that her Supergirl suit has been replaced with her regular clothes. The next unexpected fact is that once she glances down her shirt, she doesn’t see blood, just like last time when she and Lena both saw the flashing light: this time, instead, she sees a scar on her chest but it _almost_ looks as if it were a symbol. The skin around the scar has a lighter tone than the rest of her body and if you squint just enough, you could make out the sloppy silhouette of a blaring sun. She caresses the wound ever so slightly, afraid of hurting herself in the process.

Once she feels her eyes have more or less adapted to the darkness, she looks up and takes in all of her surroundings: for starters, she is not alone. There are dozens of people all around her in what appears to be an abandoned kindergarten. It’s the creepiest thing Kara’s ever seen. There are all kinds of toys scattered all over the place, the paintings on the walls have lost all their colour and most of it has been erased over time and the large bench in the middle of the room could only be described as a bunch of splinters glued together.

When Kara feels the hairs at the tip of her neck start to arise, she stops looking at the walls and as an alternative, starts observing the people. She is surprised to see that despite finding herself in a kindergarten, there are people of all ages: from toddlers to elderly. She walks to an old lady sitting on the edge of the bench whose hands are propped up on a golden cane and sits next to her.

“Excuse me” she calls for the woman’s attention “where are we, exactly?”

The woman turns her head incredibly slowly and stares Kara up and down for a solid minute. “We’re at school.” She informs the reporter in a tone of voice that makes Kara feel as if she were dumb for asking something so obvious.

“Okay, yeah, that was helpful.” Kara mutters sarcastically under her breath. “But _where_?”

“Well” the elder woman huffs exasperatedly “this is the playroom and the bathroom is over there” she points to the end of the corridor with the tip of her cane. Kara looks at the direction the woman pointed to and gulps as she sees the even darker zone where the bathroom is supposedly located. There’s no way in hell she’ll go anywhere near that. ‘ _I’d rather pee myself than go in there.’_

“And, um” Kara calls when she sees the other woman’s attention start to drift off somewhere else “did you see me come in?”

“No.” She answers without sparing Kara another glare.

“How long have you been here?” The blonde asks almost in a whisper.

“I’m not sure, but I hope my family will come pick me up before dinner time; it’s my birthday today.” The woman offers Kara a genuine smile which she quickly reciprocates before it turns into an expression of horror when she hears the elder’s next words: “I’m turning thirty this year.”

Kara feels herself start to panic as the words start to sink in. That woman’s been there for nearly half of her life. Her breath feels ragged and she gets up from the bench in a hurry, panicking beginning to take over her. She wants to run but doesn’t know where to.

Right before she can make a move a public address voice echoes through the room: ‘ _Attention, please. The following pupils will be shortly collected by their parents today: Derek, Laura, Allison, Stephanie, John and Aria.’_

Everyone who’s been called out walks slowly to what Kara can only imagine would be the entrance so she follows them in hopes of making out there. All of them are dead silent but Kara tries to talk to them wishing they’ll clear somethings up for her.

“Excuse me, what is this place?” She asks the man next to her. He is a rather muscular tall brunette but he doesn’t even acknowledge Kara’s presence. “Where are we?” She tries again. The man spares her a side glance and picks up his pace, making it clear he has no intention of talking to her. Kara blinks rapidly a couple of times; feeling a little offended but brushing it off quickly in order to approach someone more friendly looking.

“Do you know where we are?” She asks a younger male wearing glasses. They make a left when they get to the corridor and as the group walks farther, Kara realises just how much big that place really is.

“We’re at the P.T. kindergarten.” He informs her. Kara is trying really hard to memorise the path they are taking but after the fifth turn she takes notice she doesn’t know where they are anymore.

“What is the-?”

“John!” a girl calls for the boy, effectively cutting off Kara “come on!”

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go with my sister” the boy turns to Kara and bids his goodbye right before Kara has even the chance to say anything else. She stops in her tracks and huffs in annoyance.

“Don't mind them” a voice from behind Kara makes her jump. She thought everyone was ahead of her so she wasn’t expecting anyone to come up from behind. Standing in front of her is a blind man holding a white cane. “They’re excited because they think they’ll get out of here.”

That sentence sparks dozens of other questions in Kara such as ‘ _what do you mean they think? They won’t? Where do the rest of the corridors lead to? What are we doing here? How did I come in here?’_ but they all stack ones on top of other until she can’t get anything out except for a little incomprehensible stammer.

“I’m Theodore.” The man holds his hand out for Kara to take which she quickly does.

“Kara.” He smiles politely at the girl and points with the tip of his cane to the spot where the rest of the group, who can no longer be seen nor heard, were standing a couple of seconds prior.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kara growls in exasperation. Her chest doesn’t hurt anymore but the confusion and fear coming from the whole situation are starting to get to Kara.

“Relax” the man chuckles as if he read Kara’s mind “I’ve been down these halls a lot so I know my way around here” he walks ahead of the blonde nodding his head “follow me.”

She doesn’t know if she should trust him, given that she doesn’t know anything about this man except for his name, so she goes quickly through all her possible options here: 1) she goes back to the ‘playroom’ and tries to talk to someone else; _no, I’m not going back in there,_ she quickly dismisses the idea. 2) she tries to find the rest of the group on her own; the only little insignificant flaw on that plan is that she has absolutely no idea which way they went and she fear she’ll get even more lost than she already is; and 3) she trusts Theodore and goes with him; _I don’t even need to trust him_ , she thinks, _I’ll just follow him for a bit and if anything feels remotely off I’ll fly off to safety, besides, it’s not like he can possibly physically hurt me without me seeing it coming,_ Kara tells herself. _He can still have you walk into a trap_ , the voice at the back of her head reasons.

“Are you coming or not?” the man turns around and asks her when he doesn’t hear her footsteps walking along him.

Kara must now make a decision. “Yeah.” She settles for the last option as she hurries to his side.

***

“Mom, I have to hang up or else I’m gonna be late.”

“Aw, come on, Alex.” Her mother playfully whines. “We barely talk anymore.”

Alex sighs. She knows they’ve been drifting apart these past weeks but it’s not her fault, she’s had to cancel at least eight dinner nights because her work doesn’t leave her much time for meeting friends or family. Okay, so maybe it is partially her fault. “I’m sorry for always cancelling on you the last minute, but with the Luthor Gala and all we’ve been extremely busy lately.”

“I know, honey” her mom reassures her “I know how stressing and demanding your job can be.”

“I feel like a ‘but’ is coming.” Alex chuckles as she opens up her jewellery box and rummages through it. She’s never really been a fan of accessories but Maxwell insisted. They had to present a common front tonight against the Luthors and they needed to look absolutely impeccable.

“ _But_ ” Eliza comically draws out the words, which earns her a smile from her daughter “if you have to cancel one more dinner night because your stupid boss needs you in the lab, I’ll come down there myself and kick his balls so up his ass that-“

“Mom!” Alex fully laughs this time and _God_ , does it feel good. “I’m old enough to fight my own battles.” She can’t seem to find an adequate necklace for tonight so she empties the whole box on her nightstand but in the process one of the bracelets falls down to the floor with a loud thud.

“Then fight them!” Eliza tells her.

“Okay, mom.” Alex rolls her eyes right as she kneels down in order to pick up the accessory. “I really have to hang up now.”

“Okay, baby. I love you.” Eliza blows a kiss into the phone and Alex chuckles once more.

“Bye, love you too.”

She hangs up and looks at the object on her hand: it’s a white bracelet with a black pearl incrusted in the middle. Alex frowns upon seeing it and looks down at her own wrist, where a black bracelet with a silver white pearls sits. A Christmas gift. But she only remembers her mother giving her the one on her wrist, so where did the other come from? She definitely didn’t buy it and she doesn’t recall anyone else giving it to her, so it makes no sense for it to be sitting along her necklaces and other bracelets. She examines it for a while but Alex can’t decipher anything else from it so she keeps it in her purse and goes out the door; not wanting to make it to the Gala any later than it already is.

***

“You need to relax.” Jack whispers in Lena’s ear right after the last guest the brunette’s greeted walks off. “You’re doing great.”

“Well, I don’t _feel_ great.” Lena rubs her hands together nervously as her eyes travel through the room. “We should have done it outdoors, why didn’t we do it outdoors? It feels too oppressive to be all gathered in here.” Lena talks really fast as she has started to pace up and down the same two tiles. “I messed up; we definitely should’ve done it outdoors; I’ll just- “

“Mr. Spheer!” A blonde man in his fifties walks towards them with open arms as a young woman comes trotting by his side. When they reach the couple, the young woman stands awkwardly behind him as the man holds out his hand in front of Jack. They shake hands in a rather affectionately manner before Lena’s puzzled eyes. “So nice to see you again!”

“Mr. Allen! What a sight for sore eyes!” The man smiles widely right before turning to Lena.

“And you might be Mrs. Spheer.” Lena frowns slightly.

“Actually, I didn’t take Jack’s-“

“Last time I saw you” the man’s attention shifts back to Jack and Lena thinks she only got somewhat ‘greeted’ because of politeness, if you could even call it that “you were working in a garage in your own house, I see you’ve made quite some progress. And you have your own company now; I heard Spheerical Industries is doing amazing lately.” He congratulates Jack. Lena has long lost interest in the conversation, her attention being now focused on the nerdy girl who has yet to get an introduction. ‘ _She must be his assistant’_ , Lena thinks.

The girl, who Lena thinks looks too smart to be anyone’s secretary, is wearing a light pink three-piece suit and her blonde hair has been combed dedicatedly to the side. She seems to be in her mid-twenties. Her glasses keep slipping from her nose so she’s constantly pushing them upwards and albeit Lena is certain she hasn’t ever met that girl once, there’s something eerily familiar about her. She just can’t quite put her finger on what it is.

She is about to ask her name when the man makes a comment that makes her blood boil. “That girl of yours really hit the jackpot with you, Mr. Spheer, given that she couldn’t have accomplished much on her own.” He inches closer to Jack, as if he were telling him a secret, but his tone of voice could be perfectly heard by Lena. “I heard woman’s brains are getting smaller with the skirts.” It was then, right as the man was laughing at his own joke that Lena lost it.

“Excuse me?!” She steps closer to him; her arms now crossed in front of her. “Who the fuck do you think you are to be talking about me like that? First of all: I’m not a Spheer; I’m a fucking Luthor and second, I’m not a trophy wife. I’m the CEO of LuthorCorp.”

Lena is _fuming_ but Mr. Allen doesn’t retract the slightest; instead, he laughs in her face and turns to his assistant. “Did you hear that, Amy? She thinks she’s a Luthor.” He can barely get the sentence out due to his incessant laughing.

The now-named girl clears her throat and takes a step forward. “She is” it’s almost said in a whisper but loud enough for all three of them to hear “She _is_ a Luthor. Lena Luthor.” She clarifies.

“Pft, that’s not a real Luthor.” He scoffs. “Real Luthors aren’t afraid of success. And this one is a coward.”

Lena is about to throw hands. “A coward?! Just because I don’t stand by animal and human testing doesn’t make me a coward. A man lost _three fucking fingers_ last time we launched a new product before it could be properly ready.”

Lena notices then that Jack has yet to intervene in her behalf. Not because she needs any ‘defender’ but because that’s spouses do for one another _, ain’t it?_ The least she expects is for Jack to ask Mr. Allen to back the fuck off. She looks at him from the corner of her eyes but no, her husband doesn’t look like he’s about to jump into the conversation any time soon.

“You’ll never be a true Luthor.” The man mocks her and for some reason, that sentence weights on Lena like a thousand bricks. At this point, Lena’s pent up tension is too much for her to handle: she punches him hard in the face. He throws a couple of insults her way but Lena can’t make out the words, given that his hands are cupping his bloody nose. That’s when Jack decides to finally come in-between them but his reaction only makes Lena frown. Jack scolds his wife for her behaviour and escorts the man to the bathroom to clean himself up. The girl that was with him, Amy, glances at Lena and offers her a tiny smile before running off to assist her boss.

“I wouldn’t have done that if I were you.” Comes a voice from behind her. “I mean, I would’ve, I definitely would’ve because that douchebag deserves it but” she places a glass of champagne on Lena’s hand “I’m not sure that’s gonna sit well with the rest of the attendants.”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” It comes off harsher than she’d intended but Lena is too angry right now to care about formalisms.

“Alex Danvers.” Lena is expecting her to hold out her hand but the woman never does. “I work for Lord Technologies.” She takes a sip of her own glass which prompts Lena to do the same.

“Then you must be really happy that I did that. I bet a lot of our investors will retract and will inherently come to you.” She sombrely says.

“I couldn’t care less what they do.” Alex shrugs. “Maxwell’s the one obsessed with money.”

“Well, money’s the reason we’re all gathered here tonight.” She points out.

“I’m not the biggest fan of these parties, I gotta say.” They’re standing side by side as they both observe the guests around the room.

“Still, you came here tonight.” Lena raises her eyebrow.

“I only did so because my boss forced me to, besides” she adds on a lighter note, almost playful “where else would I get such sophisticated food for free?” As if on cue, a waiter walks by carrying a tray of something Alex cannot identify, but she still takes a couple of pieces and stuffs them in her mouth. Lena chuckles.

The brunette is about to ask her about Maxwell when she spots Amy at the end of the room. She stares at her for a solid two minutes, not noticing that Alex’s realised who’s caught her attention.

“You two banging?” She bluntly asks Lena as she takes another sip.

Lena chokes on air. “Wha- I’m married!”

“Your point?” Alex tilts her head to the side and watches Lena expectantly. She doesn’t particularly care about who Lena is or isn’t shagging, but she figures watching the CEO ramble is the most fun she’ll have tonight so she’s determined to stretch this conversation as much as she possibly can.

Lena is visibly struggling to find the right words but Alex is in no rush so she watches amusedly the scene unfolding in front of her. Lena knows she felt something akin to attraction for that girl when she first laid her eyes upon her, but Alex couldn’t possibly know that, right? Besides, it must’ve been the three-pieced suit. ‘ _Yeah, I have surely checking out the suit, not her_ ’ Lena tells herself. But deep down she knows there’s something more than that. When she looked at that girl, she had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu, as if that wasn’t the first time this had happened to her. But this is not the only time she’s sensed something was off, this has been quite recurrent lately.

After a while she realises Alex is still waiting for an answer so tries to just come clean. “Look” Lena sighs “I know this may sound crazy and I don’t even know you to be telling you this but” she inches closer to Alex, afraid of anyone else hearing what she has to say. “I keep having this feeling like there’s pieces missing; like holes in my memory.”

“What kind of holes?” Alex drops all her previous playfulness and takes on a serious tone as all her attention is now focused on Lena.

“Like there’s something really important that I can’t remember. It feels like… it’s-“

“As if your brain was trying to scream something but you couldn’t hear it.” Alex finishes for her. Lena’s eyes immediately light up.

“Yes, exactly!”

“I’ve been getting the same feeling for the past days; as if I had some form of phantom limb syndrome.” Alex scratches her forehead.

“Like amputees in war” Lena offers nodding her head. “Their brain can trick them into believing they have an itch or a pain that couldn’t actually possibly be there. The missing limb is so important the brain acts like it’s still there.”

“Do you think our subconscious are trying to tell us what’s missing?” They look at each other intently, both of them making a tremendous effort in order to remember something they may have missed but nothing comes up.

“Wait” Alex’s eyes open wide. She rummages through her purse and pulls out the bracelet. Lena doesn’t understand at first but doesn’t say anything, just watches closely as Alex rolls it between her fingers. “What if it’s not something… but _someone_? I know I probably sound crazy right now but-”

“No, you don’t.” Lena is quick to reassure her. “I had the same sensation a couple of hours ago.” The brunette pulls out her phone and searches the picture she showed Jack back home when she first tried to look for the colour of her lipstick. When she finds it, she shows it to Alex “look, for some reason I can’t explain yet, I _know_ there was someone sat right there next to me.”

Alex stares at the photo for some minutes, where neither of them says anything else. “Alex” Lena calls out almost delicately “do you believe in the supernatural?”

Alex almost wants to laugh; recalling her college thesis and all but she manages to keep a straight face as she offers Lena a tentative nod. “What if someone was erased from our memories?”

“Could that be possible?” Alex asks as she hands Lena her phone back.

“I read a while ago some article about a man called _‘the Soul-Ripper’_. Part of the article was purely a myth but, what if it _could_ be accomplished? What if there was the possibility that someone was erased from our memory and our lives?”

Alex looks down at the bracelet clutched tightly in her hand. “Could they have left things behind? And I’m not talking about lost memories. I mean physical objects.”

“Maybe.” Lena shrugs. “I’m not an expert on the subject, but it’s possible. It’s the principle of conservation of mass.”

“The total mass of any isolated object remains constant through spacetime.” Alex complements Lena’s explanation.

Lena’s never felt more alive. Her body feels revitalised and she wishes to go straight down to the lab with Alex and study all the possible ways this event may have taken place. They need to know more. Alex feels the same way as Lena and they’ve reached a non-verbal agreement to blow the Gala off when Jack rushes back and grabs Lena forcefully by her arm. “We need to leave, _now_.”


	7. May our candle burn forever

“What? Why?” Lena tries to fight Jack’s hand off her arm but to no avail. He’s too strong.

“What do mean ‘ _why’_?!” Jack yells at Lena once they reach their car. “You punched Mr. Allen square in the face!” Jack’s hand flies to his pocket to grab his keys. He is visibly mad and Lena is starting to lose the so very little patience she had left.

“I didn’t even punch him that hard.” She rolls her eyes in a dismissive way. Jack gets into the car but Lena just stands there with her arms crossed in front on her.

“He wanted to sue you, Lena.” Jack is getting exasperated at his wife: he cannot understand why Lena now seems so calm about this. They could’ve spent the rest of the night at the police station! “Every single newspaper on National City would’ve crucified you.” Lena also gets in the car once Jack exaggeratedly points at her to do so. “Thank God I finally talked him out of it. The only condition being he didn’t see you for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, so you finally spoke up.” The brunette snorts. “Because you didn’t say one word throughout the whole thing. For a minute I thought he was the one you were married to.”

“Do you not understand?!” He turns in his seat in order to face Lena. “That man is one of the wealthiest people on the city. He-“

“So you’d rather he invests on your project than defending your own wife when insulted.” Lena’s voice comes out so calm that it takes Jack a little aback, but he won’t let Lena off the hook that easily.

“Lena” he almost growls. He thinks he’s doing a great job at restraining himself from saying everything he thinks but Lena can read him like a book.

“Forget it.” She dismisses him as she opens the door and gets out of the car. “I’ll get myself home.”

Jack calls out for her but Lena ignores him as she walks away from the parking lot. Her apartment’s is relatively far from where she is right now, the journey being much tedious -especially in those heels- but she’d rather be caught dead than return to the party, even though she’d give anything to see the look on Mr. Allen’s face if she walked back in. Lena ponders the idea for a little while but ultimately dismisses it, being too fed up already with the whole Gala thing; so she doesn’t spare the building a second glance as she walks far away.

When she’s a couple of blocks away she flashes Lex a quick text telling him she had to leave and he’ll have to be the one to do the presentation of their project. Lex answers not long after: _‘unbelievable; after all I’ve done for you and this is how you repay me’_ followed by a bunch of cursing. After reading the text, Lena keeps her phone in her purse; not bothering to reply.

She doesn’t feel like going straight home though, for she knows an impending argument with Jack awaits her so Lena decides to take a little detour. Her mind makes her revive the scene with Mr. Allen over and over again until all Lena can think of is how much she’d love to punch him again.

She is so preoccupied with her own thoughts that she spaces out for a moment. She doesn’t get out of her trance until she finds herself standing in front of a building she’s never seen before. She doesn’t understand how she ended up here, at the entrance of what appears to be a resident building.

Lena frowns and inches closer in order to read the names on the mailboxes. The tags read a variety of names, none of which Lena can recognise. She’s about to turn around and leave when she realises one of the plaques was covered with dark paint. Lena stares at it for a while, feeling somehow drawn to it. The conversation she had with Alex comes suddenly to mind and so Lena begins to scratch the paint with her nails; knowing she won’t be able to sleep tight tonight until she reads the hidden name.

It takes longer than anticipated to identify the letters, for the paint is too thick but after a couple of minutes Lena starts to see the golden colour of the plaque. ‘ _Is that an F?_ ’ she squints her eyes as she keeps scratching ‘ _no; it’s a K. Followed by… an A!’_

“What do you think you’re doing?” The sudden voice makes Lena jump. “This is a private property!” the old man tells her. He comes closer to Lena, which prompts her to take a couple of steps back.

“Oh, I just-“ she’s at loss of words. How could she justify herself for being that late at night pricking at name tags on a mailbox that isn’t hers?

“Leave right now or I’m calling the police.” He threatens her. Lena can’t allow herself another incident tonight so she decides to recoil.

“Okay, okay” she puts her hands up in a surrender mode “I’m leaving.”

Lena kind of awaits for the man to go back in but seeing as he won’t leave until she’s gone, Lena curses under her breath and spins on her heel. Her feet walk her far away from the building, but her mind wanders back at what she saw on the plaque: KA.

Lena believes this might have a correlation with the missing person on the picture on her phone. She then thinks about what Alex told her about the bracelet: she was sure she didn’t know Alex beyond the professional field but what if, somehow, they were both missing the same person? Was that a bit of a stretch? Or did they finally have a lead?

She wishes she could text Alex and inform her of what she’s found out but unfortunately Jack dragged her away from the Gala too soon for her to ask for Alex’s number.

“Well” Lena tells herself out loud as she walks decidedly this time to her apartment “I guess I’ll have to pay Ms. Danvers a visit tomorrow.”

***

“You!” The man walking determinedly across the office draws everyone’s attention. Well, everyone’s but Winn’s, who almost pees himself when a couple of strong hands slam on his desk. “I need to talk to you, _right now_.”

“Uh” Winn doesn’t know what to say. He certainly wasn’t expecting this.

“What is this commotion?” Cat Grant comes walking out her office after seeing the whole thing. Winn’s never been happier to see his boss. “Who are you?” She looks at the intruder defiantly.

“I’m James Olsen.” He points at Winn, who’s still slumped on his chair. “I’m here to-“

“Work with us?” The woman finishes for him. “Nice job, Will.” She spares Winn a quick glance right before turning her attention back on James. “If you come into my office we can discuss-“

“No.” James realises it may have sounded too forcefully when Cat’s expression hardens but he doesn’t find it in himself to care: she’s not _his_ boss after all. “I’m here to talk to this one.” He points at Winn almost menacingly.

“Do you want to talk to this man, _Winn_?” The pause right before calling him by his actual name and the emphasis with which she did so don’t go unnoticed by Winn. Cat’s really wary with James, considering he’s burst unannounced into the office shouting for him and Winn knows that by asking him directly whether he wants to talk to James or not Cat’s protecting him.

He sees from the corner of his eye a couple of man from security waiting for Cat’s order to take James outside, if needed be. The reason his boss hasn’t given the order out yet is because she’s _waiting_ for Winn. And it’s not that Winn doesn’t want to talk to the photographer; it’s just that they’ve only interacted _once_ and now he’s standing at Catco demanding to talk to him.

Winn stares at James for some time, deciding on whether he should or shouldn’t go. There’s no doubt the man from Metropolis is much taller and stronger than he is and if the furrow on his brows is anything to go by, Winn should also be as wary as Cat is.

Still, he relaxes his shoulders and gets up from his chair. “We can talk outside.” He points to the door and offers Cat a reassuring nod, which makes her dismiss the security man with a slight shake of her head.

“So what’s up?” Winn casually asks once they’re out of earshot.

“Don’t you ‘what’s up’ me!” James grunts. “Look, dude, ever since you came looking for me something’s been nagging at me. I didn’t pay it much attention at first but now it’s starting to consume me.”

Winn tries to say something but nothing comes out. He’s incredibly confused right now. Upon seeing he won’t say anything; James scoffs and starts pacing the little space around him.

“When I came home the night you tried to convince me to work at Catco” James drops his harsh tone and tries to remain as calm as possible. He’s finally realised frustration won’t get him anywhere so he expresses his thoughts in the calmest way he can muster “I brushed my teeth, changed into more comfortable clothes and then…” he takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself for what’s to come next “I heard something.”

Winn listens intently to everything James is saying but he doesn’t comprehend much. “What did you hear?” He offers when James seems too distracted with his own thoughts. The taller man grimaces, as if he were struggling to express the situation.

“A baby’s rattle. And a faint lullaby.” James stops his pacing and looks Winn in the eyes.

“Maybe your wife was putting the baby to sleep?” Winn suggests; not really seeing why this was so important that the photographer had to come see him.

“I’m not married.” James shakes his head and drops his gaze to the floor. He’s trying to make sense of it all but he cannot do it on his own; that’s why he came to Winn; in hopes the shorter man could clear the situation up if only a little.

Winn comes closer to James. He doesn’t understand why a stupid lullaby would be so important to him but he want to comfort him so he’s willing to listen to everything the photographer has to say. Winn puts a hand on James’ shoulder, which prompts him to tear his gaze away from the floor. “Then perhaps you only dreamt it.”

“I wasn’t asleep.”

Winn frowns. How could have James heard a rattle and a lullaby being sung if he was alone and still awake? Winn’s mind takes him back to when he first heard of James on the news. He doesn’t recall the reporter saying anything about James having any sort of mental disorder; sure he didn’t have voices in his head. Then what was it?

“James” Winn calls for him in a soft voice “why is this so important?”

“Because I’ve never had trouble sleeping before but ever since the night we met… I’ve been feeling as if I was” he purses his lips together and looks around him like the right words would come to him “lost. Like there are some things in my life that aren’t quite right. I feel like… like…”

“Like there’s something sitting in front of you that you cannot see.” Winn sternly affirms. When James tentatively nods Winn adds: “I feel the same.”

“You’ve also heard rattles?” James hopefully asks. His question is soon turned down when Winn shakes his head.

“No. But I’ve seen flashes of… _things_ when I go to sleep.”

“What kind of things?”

“My dreams are plagued of red and blue stuff. Like pretty much everything I see when I close my eyes are those two colours.”

James frowns. “Do those two colours mean anything to you?”

“They’re primary colours.” Winn shrugs helplessly. “But I don’t have any personal attachment to them.” He frowns. “I think.”

“And you say this has been happening after we had our first encounter?”

“Yes.” Winn affirms determinedly.

They stay quiet for some minutes, both of them going over every experience or dream that seems off starting from that night, hoping that a plausible explanation might come up. But it never does.

“Wait!” Winn’s sudden intervention startles James a little but when he turns around to face Winn, he is surprised to see him practically sparkling with hope. “I know someone who might help us!”

***

“Good morning, I’m here to see Ms. Danvers.” Lena is dressed in a purple suit and her hair is neatly tied in a pony tail. Despite everything that’s been going on in her life lately, she’s gained some of her old confidence back; part of it was because the Gala was finally over but the main reason was that she seems to have at last a lead regarding the weird stuff that’s been going on for the past few days.

“Do you have a meeting scheduled?” The girl at the reception asks.

“Actually, no. I’m here to-“

“Sorry.” The girl has yet to raise her head from the computer. She hasn’t even had the decency to look at Lena in the eyes. “Ms. Danvers has a really strict policy about not taking walk-ins.”

Lena is a little taken aback. This had never happened to her before. She’s used to people recognising her up straight and not even bothering to ask if she does or does not have a meeting planned. Well, it’s also worth mentioning that she very rarely comes unannounced anywhere, she always makes sure people know she’s coming, otherwise they might not be that great at feigning joy upon seeing her. She’s been on the receiving end of many displeased faces whenever someone who forgot were supposed to meet her came face to face with her.

But that’s just how it is. No one ever expresses joy when seeing her. And although Lena won’t ever admit it out loud, it kind of hurts. She remembers, time ago, when she would wish that at least, _for once_ , someone would look at her and truly see her: not the CEO of LuthorCorp or a powerful multibillionaire; but just _Lena_. In her loneliest days, she would even go as far as to dream for someone to look at her as if she were the reason the sun came up every morning, or as if her smile was worth all the shining stars on the night sky.

‘ _That childish thing only happens in fairy tales’_ she’d tell herself at night on her fourth glass of wine. So as years went by, she lost all hope of that ever happening to her.

“Just tell her I’m here to see her.” She serenely tells the receptionist.

“I’m sorry but you’ll have to set up a meeting for another day. You must at least set it up 72 hours ahead and-“

“I’m not leaving until I speak to Alex.” This prompts the receptionist to raise an eyebrow at Lena’s use of her boss’ first name but decides against making a comment about it.

She dials a number and while she’s waiting for Alex to pick up she finally tears her gaze away from her computer and look at the brunette. “And who do I tell her demands her?”

Lena’s eyebrow lifts incredibly higher and she slightly tilts her head to the side. “Do you seriously not know?” It wasn’t meant to come off as a cocky question but Lena couldn’t supress the amusement in her voice.

The girl watches her almost boringly, but says nothing. Instead, grabs a piece of gum from her purse and starts popping it expectantly.

“I’m Lena. Lena Luthor.” She tells her amazingly slowly; afraid the message will get lost on her. The girl, however, is still wearing a poker face. “Seriously? Nothing?” Lena wrinkles her nose.

“Ms. Danvers” the girl seems relieved Alex’s finally answers; but her expression suddenly changes into an almost scared one. If it didn’t look like she were enjoying the interaction with Lena too much, she’s _definitely_ not enjoying this one “there’s someone here to see you.” Lena lets out a deep breath, for she is happy she’ll once and for all be allowed to get to see Alex. “Yeah, no, I know you didn’t have a meeting today. I told her that but she insisted. She said her name was, uh…” she looks at Lena sharply expecting her to help her out, but Lena just watches amusedly “Lisa.”

“Oh my fucking God, how can be someone so bluntly stupid?” Lena mutters under her breath as she massages her temple. “Did I not tell her my name two seconds ago? I feel like I told her my name two seconds ago.”

The girl is still talking on the phone- well, not nearly as much talking as making ‘uh’ sounds. Lena finally grows exasperated and grasps the phone out of the girl’s hand. “It’s Lena.” She practically yells. “Please, Alex, I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

There’s a short pause on the other end of the line that makes Lena believe for a moment that she hung up on her until at last comes Alex’s determined voice. “Come up to my lab.”

Lena smirks triumphantly at the receptionist as she calmly hands back the phone. She doesn’t wait for further permission as she makes her way to the lift and into Alex’s laboratory.

“Mrs. Luthor. What a surprise.” Alex greets her when Lena steps into the room.

“Please, call me Lena.” She offers a tentative smile which is shortly after returned with a reassuring nod. “And sorry for dropping in on you like that; but it’s really important.”

“I wouldn’t have received you, weren’t for the conversation we had at the Gala, not gonna lie.” Alex says after Lena’s left her purse on the floor “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Precisely” she half-heartedly points at the space between the two of them “about the conversation we had at the Gala. After Jack dragged me away, I went for a walk, you know, to clear my head and all. Anyway, I ended up in front of a building I do not recognise and I stumbled upon this… name.” Lena starts fidgeting with her hands as she hesitates.

“What was it?” Alex is listening intently, not missing one detail.

“I couldn’t read it whole. But it started with KA.”

Alex stays silent for a moment; pondering with her arms crossed and her lips pursed. “As is Katherine?” She wrinkles her nose. She doesn’t know anyone named Katherine. “Are we even sure it’s a girl?” No, they’re not.

“I don’t know.” Lena shrugs helplessly. “But it’s our only lead.”

They don’t actually have any real evidence, but if Lena’s dreams and the way she felt drawn to Mr. Allen’s assistant were anything to go by, her best guess would be it was most definitely a girl.

Lena is also looking at the floor, suddenly feeling vulnerable at the realisation that what she originally thought was only her subconscious playing with her might actually be real. A _real_ person might have actually been taken from her.

“How can we remember someone that’s been completely erased from our minds?” Alex says after a while. Her voice is determined but her gaze is mostly fixed on the floor.

The more Lena thinks about it, the more it makes sense. That’s why, when Alex asks, she confidently looks at her in the eye and says: “Hypnosis.”

Alex says nothing. She just stands there watching Lena perplexedly; not knowing if that was truly what Lena is planning on doing. Upon seeing how sceptical Alex is, Lena jolts into action and comes near her.

“No, really, think about it. It can help us _remember_.” She is almost begging for Alex to agree. “We can finally know if our assumptions of someone being erased from our lives are true or not. Alex, _please_.”

“Okay.” She finally says as Lena was starting to think she’d have to get on her knees and implore. Alex walks to where Lena left her purse by the door and hands it to her. “Let’s go. I know someone who might help us.”

***

“Who did you say was this doctor?” Lena asks once they reach their destination. Alex’s been the one to drive and the CEO has no idea where she is right now.

“Oh, he’s not a doctor.” Alex says nonchalantly. Lena would be a little reluctant if it weren’t for the fact that, at this point, all she cares about is knowing the truth behind this whole situation; no matter the cost.

As they enter the building, Lena realises Alex looks like a fish out of water there. It doesn’t look as if she knew her way down those halls at all. The building is mostly sombre and absolutely everyone is wearing black. Lena makes a mental note about googling this place later.

“Hi, we’re looking for Hank.” Alex informs the guard by the door. He is incredibly tall and his face shows no expression at all. He barely even acknowledges their presence, for he only offers them a side glance. “I _said_ ” she says more loudly and stressing every single word “we’re here to see Hank.” Still, the man doesn’t move. “Oh my God” Alex mutters under her breath “WE” she points to the both of them and tells the man a third time, but this time screaming “WANT. TO. SEE. HANK.”

“No need to yell.” Comes the voice from behind them. They both turn around in a swift move and there he is: not surprisingly, also dressed from head to toe in black. “Have you reconsidered about my offer, Ms. Danvers?” he smirks once he’s crossed the corridor and is standing right in front of them.

“Absolutely not.” After quickly dissipating the idea, she proceeds to introduce Lena. J’onn already knew who she was but he didn’t want to seem rude so he just stays silent while Alex tells him who Lena is. They shake hands shortly after and he invites them both to his office.

“So, if not to take the job, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He asks them once he’s made sure to close the door behind them.

“Okay, I’m not sure which is the best way to go about this so I’m just gonna drop the bomb on you: we think someone’s been erased from our memories and we need you to do those weird things you do to help us remember.” She comically sucks in air after saying it all in one breath.

“Look” Lena steps in between the both of them when it’s clear J’onn is at loss for words. “I don’t know you and, hell, I barely even know Alex; but if she thinks you can help us, I trust you too.”

“Whoa, I never said anything about trusting this guy.” Alex puts her hands up in a defensive way as she steps closer. “But he’s our best shot. We might as well try it.”

They turn their heads to J’onn and stare at him expectantly. He purses his lips and ponders for some minutes. Lena and Alex are growing exasperated but given the they just spat out their request without any kind of preparation or warning, this was to be expected.

Time goes by and J’onn has yet to say anything. Alex angrily starts to walk off and as she’s about to grab Lena and heads for the door, J’onn’s voice affirming to help them makes her stop in her tracks.

“Alright. But we’ll do it my way.”

Neither Alex nor Lena object. They nod their heads and follow the man’s instructions. Because J’onn isn’t used to this sort of request, he explains he’ll put one of them in some sort of mental trance to help them access repressed memories. If everything goes as planned, that one will be able to remember the person they lost. If it doesn’t, well, then they’ll be back to square one. “I have to warn you, though” J’onn tells them “this process is really stressful for both your brain and mine, so I’ll only be able to do it once.”

“I’ll do it.” Lena volunteers confidently; her jacket already hanging loose from her shoulders. Alex doesn’t object.

J’onn asks Lena to sit on his desk and lays a candle in front of her once he’s dimmed all the lights. “Okay, Lena. I’ll guide you through it but you need to be really focused.” Lena nods affirmatively as she takes a deep breath.

“Now close your eyes and think of all the moments this past week when you had the feeling of something missing. Think of every single time you longed for someone but you didn’t know who.” Lena frowns in concentration as she follows J’onn’s instruction thoroughly. “Now picture there’s a radio in your hands. Imagine every station is a memory with that person.” He stays quiet for a while, giving Lena the time to settle. “Now turn it on.”

Lena can _feel_ the radio on her hands. She slowly turns it on. At first all she can hear is a variety of shrieking sounds. It’s really unpleasing and they hurt her ears badly so she toys with the small wheel until she manages to tune in. The noise has subsided and, for a while, she can’t hear anything. When she’s about to turn the wheel again she starts to hear it:

 _“Well, like I said, I’m not a reporter.”_ The voice is muffled by another one. _“No! I’m not gonna drop you!”_ Lena identifies the voice as a woman’s. She smiles to herself: she knew it was a girl. _“You’re not gonna lose me. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”_ Suddenly all voices are overlapping one another. Lena tries to turn down the volume but it’s useless. _“So my office is overflowing with flowers.”_ The voices are louder by the second to the point Lena has to cover her ears. _“Now you have someone who’ll stand up for you. Always.”_ She squeezes her eyes tighter and ducks her head, the voices being too much to handle. She cannot see the face of the person talking to her, but she can _feel_ her deep inside. Lena’s breath is ragged and she’s started to rock herself back and forth as a way of calming herself down.

“What’s happening to her? Should we stop her?” Alex asks J’onn worriedly. They have no idea what Lena is hearing or seeing, all they know is she’s on the verge of a panic attack.

“Lena” J’onn’s voice calls for her sternly yet in a calm manner. “Focus.” But Lena can’t. She’s being flooded by memories and she thinks she sees a face but it’s so blurred she can’t make out anything. “LENA! FOCUS!” He screams.

He takes a step back and waits for a reaction. Lena trembles. Alex makes a move to blow out the candle but J’onn grabs her. Before Alex has a chance to protest, the man nods in Lena’s direction and they watch her. She’s retrieved her hands from her ears and looks calmer. Her eyes are still firmly shut but she seems to have found a way to navigate through the memories.

 _“Lena, look at me.”_ Inside her head, Lena opens her eyes and she finally _sees_ her. Kara looks calm caressing Lena’s face. The brunette sighs in astonishment as the blonde keeps looking at her. _“You’re going to have to find a way to remember me, okay?”_ Lena frowns. Where had she heard this before? She realises there’s a glowing light on Kara’s chest. _“Do you remember the day we met? You were wearing a lovely red top and mocked me because I told you I worked for CatCo.”_ It finally dawns on Lena. That’s Kara. _Her_ Kara. The girl she’s helplessly fallen for practically since the first moment she laid eyes on the reporter. ‘I remember now’, Lena thinks. _“Remember how you saved my life?”_ The Kara from Lena’s memory asks her. And Lena knows. She can now recall every single time Kara saved her life as both herself and the superhero.

 _“You saved my life too.”_ Lena doesn’t know if she imagines herself talking or if she actually does. She remembers this precise moment perfectly and she feels her heart being ripped from her chest all over again. She’ll have to suffer watching Kara fade once again. And there’s nothing she can do to stop it. The white light has almost taken Kara’s whole body. _“Remember how I’m pretty much always a rambling mess whenever you’re around? Or how I cannot seem to articulate a decent sentence when you stare at me for too long? Just remember-“_ And, oh boy, does Lena already know what’s coming. She can’t stop the tears from spilling from her eyes as she braces herself for the final hit. _“Remember I love you.”_

Lena gasps for air as she throws her whole body back. J’onn and Alex quickly rush by her side. Lena breaks down in Alex’s arms as the latter strokes her back.

“I was there.” She gets out between sobs. “I was the last person to see her.” Alex reassures her the best she can but Lena’s whimpers wouldn’t subside.

“See who, Lena?” Alex draws back a little in order to look at Lena in the eyes.

Lena closes her eyes and takes one, two and three deep breaths before opening them and determinately saying: “Kara.”


	8. Schrödinger

“Wait, so there _really_ is a Kara?” Alex’s eyes spark with hope as she clutches onto Lena. The brunette nods her head several times.

“ _Yes_.” Lena lets out almost in a whisper; afraid that if she speaks up too loudly she’ll wake up from a dream and find none of this was real.

Alex lets go of the brunette and takes a couple of steps back, the information being so sudden that she needs some time to process it. She sighs and scratches her head while pacing J’onn’s office over and over again as she tries to piece the puzzle together.

“It sure was a stressful process, _J’onn_ ” Lena makes sure to stress his name when she looks at him pointedly “but it also was totally worth it.” Lena manages to let out some sort of chuckle despite the non-stopping streaming of tears cascading down her cheeks.

“Hold on” Alex says all of a sudden once she hears Lena call the DEO agent by his real name “what did you just call him?”

Before J’onn has a chance to explain himself, Lena gets up from the chair and walks over to Alex. “She’s not Hank Henshaw,” she places her right hand on top of Alex’s shoulder and spins on her heel to face the man “he’s J’onn J’onzz; a Martian.”

“I’m sorry- a _what_ , now?” Alex practically chokes on air. “Are you seriously making fun of me right now?”

Lena puts herself in between where Alex and J’onn are standing and puts both her hands out, as if the gesture would help them remember faster. The brunette looks over to both of them but now Alex’s encouraging gaze has turned into a frown, very similar to the expression on J’onn’s face, which takes Lena a little aback.

“At first I thought it was for real, Lena.” Alex spits out. “But then you had to go and throw in the little jest about aliens just so you can crack a joke at my expense.” She feels as if she were reviving her years in college all over again, with the whole thesis scandal and all.

“Sorry, Mrs. Luthor.” J’onn calls out Lena’s attention in a stern voice as he crosses his arms in front of him. “But I think you have me confused with someone else, I-“

“Stop it! Both of you!” Lena yells angrily at them. “Get your heads out of your asses and focus just for a damn second!” The brunette’s abrupt change of tone causes both Alex and J’onn to instantly shut up. “I’m not making any of this up! Kara is _real_.” She makes the last word sound almost like a prayer and, for a second, Alex hopes she could also be a believer. Just like Lena.

“J’onn saw her!” Lena’s eyes open wide as the realisation hits her. J’onn put her in a trance, so he must’ve seen Kara as well. “Come on, J’onn, tell Alex! We both saw Kara. She was there!” She says excitedly.

As she looks over to the man, though, all her joy fades for he denies what Lena is saying with a shake of head. “I didn’t see anything. All I saw was you shaking and trembling.”

The tears Lena managed to suffocate a few moments ago rapidly find their way back to her eyes once she realises she is the only one who remembers Kara. Her throat tightens and she fights back the best she can the throbbing on her chest, which is getting more and more painful by the second.

Lena is completely silent for a moment. There’s so many things she wants to say but all of them die on the tip of her tongue. This whole situation is too much for her. She just got her memories of Kara back and now that she thought all three of them would work together to bring her back she understands she’s on her own.

“No” the brunette’s voice trembles as the whisper comes out from her lips “no, no, no, _please_.” She is aware her pleading won’t help them in any way but it’s all she can do right now.

After a couple more of seconds of watching Lena on the verge of another panic attack –and in spite of feeling pity for the girl- Alex shakes her head and clicks her tongue. “I’m out.” She puts her hands up in surrender and starts to walk to the door before Lena’s fearful eyes.

“Alex, wait!”

“Sorry, Lena” she says when she’s reached the door “but this was a waste of time.”

“She is your sister!” Lena yells when Alex’s foot was already out the door. Lena’s statement, however, makes her retract her steps and turn around incredibly slowly as she pierces Lena with a menacing glare. “That’s why you have two bracelets of the same kind. It was a Christmas present from your mother.” Lena explains in the calmest way she can muster. “Kara told me once when we were having lunch together.”

Lena gets closer to Alex and looks at her directly in the eyes. She doesn’t care her makeup is definitely ruined or that she may look slightly out of her mind right now. She needs Alex to _remember_. “Kara is your sister.” She repeats. “And you both love each other so much.”

The brunette holds her gaze for a couple of seconds before turning to J’onn. “You love her so much you became a DEO agent for her.” Her message is mostly directed to Alex but Lena watches J’onn closely, urging him to remember as well.

“And why would I do that?” Alex is having a hard time believing Lena albeit she really wants to.

Lena ducks her head and takes a deep breath before telling Alex in a steady voice: “She was an alien who became a superhero. Because of _you_. And J’onn was her mentor.” She turns to the Martian, hoping for him to say something already.

“I was?” He finally speaks up. Lena nods quickly.

“You were also kind of like a father figure to both the Danvers sisters.”

J’onn and Alex looks at each other for a long time, where none of them dare to say anything out loud. Lena closes her eyes tightly and whispers one more plea before going silent and waiting for one of them to either laugh in her face or preferably actually recall _something_ about Kara. Even the smallest and most insignificant thing about the reporter would be helpful.

When nothing happens, Lena rushes to the table and grabs a notepad and a pen. Her furious writing draws Alex and J’onn’s attention as they inch closer to get a better look at whatever the brunette’s scribbling.

Alex frowns. She thought Lena was writing something down but upon seeing the various shaky lines and ink blots she realises the CEO is actually _drawing_. She and J’onn look at each other with a matching expression of confusion on their faces.

“There.” Lena announces as she takes a step back in order to let the other two see the drawing: Supergirl’s symbol.

Alex tilts her head to the side. Her brain seems to be telling her something but she can’t quite pinpoint what it is. But when Lena puts down the pen on the table, the metallic sound it makes brings Alex back to the seat of a plane –a plane which is currently falling off the sky. _Everyone in the plane is hysterical and some of them have started praying for their life. The pilot’s unable to redirect the plane due to an engine failure and right as Alex is about to submit to the fear she sees her through the window. A girl holding the plane in the sky. The memory is kind of blurry so she can’t quite see the girl’s face due to the darkness of the night._

Alex scratches the back of her neck as she tries to focus on the memory but something is pulling her hair. She tries to move her wrist away but there’s something entangled on a lock of hair. She pulls harder and once she’s freed her hand and looks down she realises it was the chain of her bracelet. And that’s when it hits her.

_The girl locks eyes with her and that’s when Alex recognises her. The person preventing the plane from crashing is Kara, her sister._

The woman gasps as she can’t stop the tears from spilling. She covers her mouth with her hand to try to control her sobs but it’s futile. When she looks up she finds J’onn pretty much in the same state she’s in, only that he’s holding the drawing and his crying is much more silent. When their eyes meet they finally understand what Lena’s been so desperately trying to tell them for so long.

“She is real.” J’onn manages to say despite the tightness on his throat.

Alex doesn’t trust her voice so she limits herself to nod once, twice and up to twenty times before running to J’onn and hugging him impossibly tight. They let themselves fully cry and let out all the pent-up emotion before Lena’s relieved gaze. They stay like this for some minutes until they decide it’s time to put the sorrow aside and start working on how to bring Kara back.

***

“Do you think he’ll be able to help us?” James asks sceptically as both him and Winn get out of the car.

“As far as I’m concerned, he’s our best shot.” Winn shrugs while making his way to the entrance of the LuthorCorp building. “He’s got all kinds of technology so I’m sure that there will be _something_ we can work with.”

“I don't think you've thought about this plan as thoroughly as it requires.” The photographer mutters as he tries to keep up with Winn’s pace.

“It’ll be fine, relax!” The shorter man dismisses him with a wave of hand right as they both enter the building.

James is still incredibly doubtful about Lex’s willingness and capability of sorting this out for them but as Winn said, he’s their only chance right now. Otherwise they’ll be stuck with this feeling of doom they can never seem to shake off indeterminately.

He doesn’t have much time to process it all, really –for Winn is already talking to the girl at the reception.

“Good morning! We’re here to see Mr. Luthor.”

“Did you have a meeting scheduled?” She asks as she types on her computer.

“Uh, no. We were kind of hoping he’d receive us on the spot.” Winn scratches the base of his neck in a nervous manner.

The girl snorts. “Oh my God, that’s the third time this week.” She mutters under her breath. When Winn asks her what she just said because he couldn’t hear her, the girl simply says: “Yeah, we don’t do that around here. You must set up appointment beforehand, you can’t just barge in here.” She informs him as she continues to type on her computer.

“Well, it’s just that- I mean, we- there was this unplanned thing that we-“ he is stuttering nonstop, not making any sense.

“What my friend is trying to say” James decides to intervene before Winn has a chance to embarrass himself any further “is that we’re from the IT department and we’ve found a problem with LuthorCorp’s net security. We went out to talk to the engineers and now we can’t come back in because we forgot our passes in the lab.” The girls looks at him with a poker face for some time where neither of them say anything. After a while, she picks up the phone and dials a number.

James and Winn look at each other wearing a matching face of relieve but it quickly disappears when they hear the girl’s voice talking into the phone. “Security? I’m gonna need you to escort these two men outside.”

“Wait, what?!” Winn’s eyes open so wide it would be incredibly funny if not because he had other matters to attend at the moment.

“You can either walk out yourselves before security gets here or rather stay here whining and let them take you out in a rather not so elegant way. Your call.”

“Man, I thought receptionists were all nice and kind.” Winn moans looking at James.

“Are you sure Lex can help us?” James whispers hurriedly as he counts all the security cameras filming them.

 “Uh-“

“Winn, are you sure?!” He asks more aggressively when he sees three large men approach them.

“Yes, yes!” The shorter man says. He doesn’t know what James is thinking but he prays he comes up with something in the following ten to fifteen seconds because the men are almost at arm’s length.

In a matter of two seconds, he pulls out from his pocket something Winn can’t make out and puts his hand up, showing it to the camera right above them. And then the reception phone rings.

“Yes? Hm, yes. But they- alright, yes.” The girl’s answers come short and unsure but as she orders the security men to let go of Winn and James, the latter knows it worked. “Mr. Luthor will see you now.” She announces solemnly once she’s hung up.

A pleased smirk finds its place on his face once he sees the three men recoil and the secretary begrudgingly handing them two visitor’s passes.

James smiles victoriously as both Winn and he walk to the lift. Lex receives them before they have the chance to step in.

“Mr. Olsen and Mr. Schott” comes Lex’s chirpy voice. It’s obvious to James’ eyes that Lex’s smile is nothing but forced but for the sake of politeness, he chooses not to comment on it. Instead, he reaches out to shake hands.

“So, Mr. Luthor, we came here to-“

“Let’s go to my office.” Lex cuts off Winn when the lift’s doors open. It’s clear he doesn’t want to have this conversation out in the middle of the hall. “It’s much nicer in there.”

The walk from the lift to his office is absolutely silent except for the little squeaky noises Winn’s sneakers make.

Once they get there, Lex checks no one is around and makes sure he locks the door behind himself so as ‘not to be disturbed’, or so did he say when James sceptically asked.

“So, as I was saying, Mr. Luthor, we-“

“You shouldn’t have come in here.” Lex’s tone is cold and defiant.

“It’s not like I was expecting an invitation any time soon so I figured I’d just swing by. Why do you care?” James crosses his arms in front of him as he takes a step closer to Lex, as if he were challenging him.

“Well” Lex pretends to chuckle “one doesn’t simply come to my house after insulting me the way you did and expect to come out victorious, did you?”

Winn looks between the two of them. So far, he’s understood absolutely nothing about what’s going on. He thought everything would go smooth; at no moment did he consider James and Lex would be staring at each other down with such intensity and disgust on their faces.

“I’m sorry” Winn’s sheepish voice forces the two men to break the staring contest that had been going on “how do you two know each other exactly?”

“ _He_ ” Lex yells as he points in an inculpatory manner at James “costed me over three million dollars.”

“It’s the least you deserved, moron.” James raises his tone of voice as well.

“It was not my fault!”

“A man lost three fucking fingers!”

Winn hit the table hard with his fist in order to prevent the fight to go any further. After hearing James’ last reproach he think he understand what’s going on: some time ago, LuthorCorp launched an unfinished project on the market that turned out to be defective. As a result, one customer lost three fingers of his right hand. Not even an hour later of the incident, the company was being torched on every single newspaper. Winn now recalls reading James’ name somewhere on the article that tipped all the media off. He was the one who spread the word about it. Otherwise, Winn’s sure Lex would have paid the man a ton of money in order to stay quiet.

“Enough! We came here looking for help; not a fight.” Winn’s words are mostly directed at James but his eyes watch the two of them closely; afraid they’ll go to each other’s throats if he so much as blinks.

Lex snorts. “I’m not going to help either of you. Get lost.”

“I knew it was a bad idea to come in here.” James clenches his jaw as well as his fists before taking a deep breath a relaxing. “Winn, let’s go.”

“What? But- he- we haven’t even-“

“I said let’s go!” James’ tone is stern and leaves no room for argument so Winn ducks his head in defeat and walks over to the door James is holding open.

“Alright, let’s head to the DEO then; see if we can remember.” He mutters once he’s almost by the door.

“What did you just say?” Lex’s picked up on the conversation and now he is determined to make them stay.

“It’s none of your business.” James responds before slamming the door shut.

“Fuck!” Lex curses under his breath when he’s been left all alone upon realising James and Winn know something is up. In a hurry, he takes out his cell phone and dials the number of the only person who can help him. “Hi, it’s me. We’ve got a problem.”

***

“So, what are we going to do? What’s the procedure to bring someone back from the dead?”

“She’s not dead.” Lena shoots Alex a determined look that warns her not to joke about this. Something tells her, though, that Alex was not joking.

“But she’s not alive either.” J’onn reasons. “Otherwise our technology would pick up on her signal.” Alex forgets about the conversation as she turns her back around to grab some things they may need.

“If she were dead; I’d know” Lena crosses her arms and steps in front of J’onn in a defiant manner “believe me.”

“Why? Are you psychic?”

“No, but-“

“Do you know where she is?” Now J’onn’s the one taking one step closer with each question.

“N-no…”

“Do you think your human brain is more capable than an alien’s? Or that the DEO technology?”

“I didn’t say that.” Lena growls. “I only meant-“

“Then you do not know whether she is alive or dead. All you have is a vague memory of her persona that-“

“It’s not a vague memory! I see her on my mind clear as day!” Lena fights back. “When you love someone as much as I do, you do not forget a single thing about them. So don’t you dare challenge me again and let’s put that ‘super capable’ brain of yours into action!”

“You two done talking about Schrödinger?” Alex comes up from behind Lena carrying a big box of God knows what. “Alive and dead; dead and alive… does it really matter?” The box makes a heavy sound when she places it on the desk. “We should be all focusing on bringing her back; no matter where she is.”

Lena and J’onn look at one another as they both puff in annoyance.

“Come on, Lena!” Alex calls for her as she’s started to set up the tools they’ll use. “Let’s bring your wifey back.”


	9. Talk to me

“And how do we do that?”

“Well, the first thing we should do is to determine where Kara is exactly.” Alex explains matter-of-factly.

“Okay” Lena claps her hands and walks over to the notepad she used to draw a few minutes earlier in order to write down all they know so far so they can try to locate the reporter “I’ve got some things back on LuthorCorp that may help us, so we should go over there and-“

“Hold on” Alex stops her movements and turns around to face Lena “I appreciate the effort, Luthor; but that would take us forever.”

Alex rummages through the box once more before pulling out what appears to be a blowtorch. Lena and J’onn exchange a look that carries both confusion and concern.

“What’s your plan, Alex?” J’onn asks cautiously while Alex seems to be testing the intensity of the flame.

“Find Kara. And since none of us know where she is… she’s gonna have to tell us herself!” Alex smiles triumphantly, expecting Lena and J’onn to join her but neither does.

“Ugh” Alex grunts “it’s pretty simple actually. When you first remembered Kara” she points at Lena “something happened; you said you felt as if you were really there with her. But that’s not all, even _I_ felt you were there.” Alex starts pacing around the room before the other’s tentative looks. “You connected with your memories. And we accomplished that with a mere candle. But what if, instead of connecting only with memories we could… contact the person?”

“And you think a blowtorch will provide better… guidance” J’onn says for a lack of a better word “than the candle?”

“Well…” Alex scrunches up her nose as if she were struggling to express her intentions “I was thinking we should use it… on ourselves? As in on our skin?” Her tone has gone an octave higher and she’s rubbing her hands together.

“I’m sorry” Lena gets out once she’s managed to stop looking so agape “you want to set ourselves on fire?”

“Alex” J’onn calls harsher “there’s no way-“

“Pain can trigger memories.” Alex abruptly says. “Sometimes, we can’t focus on something because our mind drifts too much, right? Just like it happened with Lena and the candle. Lena wasn’t able to focus on her memories until J’onn yelled twice; which was”

“An external stimulus.” Lena whispers mostly to herself when the realisation hits her. Alex may have a point after all.

“So if we can broaden this stimulus to a much better extent-“

“We may be able to access repressed memories.” J’onn is in deep thought as he contemplates all the possible outcomes this plan may have.

“Perhaps even contacting her.” Alex states confidently. They all stay in silent for a while, pondering how to proceed.

“I’ll do it.” J’onn takes a step forward and grabs the blowtorch right out of Alex hand. Both women protest but he silences them whilst taking a seat on the nearest chair. “No offense, but since I’m an alien it’ll be easier for me to handle the pain, so it’s gonna be me.”

“But isn’t that a little… counterproductive?” Lena sounds out. “I mean, the goal of this is for the subject to experiment a pretty intense level of pain and so if your body is able to handle it then it may not result.”

J’onn sighs and rubs his forehead as he thinks about Lena’s point. “Let me at least try.” He raises his head “ _please_.”

That’s the first time either Alex or Lena has seen J’onn look so incredibly broken and lost. They had all been so into their heads that they hadn’t stop to think they weren’t the only ones affected by Kara’s disappearance. Both women look at each other and it isn’t until Lena slightly nods that Alex takes a step forward and asks the Martian for the blowtorch.

Once he hands it over Alex lays out the commands for the procedure. “There are three degrees of flame intensity. I’ll put on the first one and press it against your arm for five seconds. Then I’ll pull it away, count to ten and press it more insistently for another five seconds.” Whilst Alex is going through the course of action, Lena leaves the office for a moment in order to get some wet towels and some ointment to treat all three kinds of burn degrees. “We’ll do this routine thrice. Not once more.” She looks pointedly at J’onn; already knowing he’d complain about how they _must_ do this over and over again until the plan works. “If nothing happens after the third approach, we’re calling this off. Understood?”

“But-“

“ _Understood_?” She calls harsher. The man clenches his jaw and nods twice before extending his arm to her.

Lena comes back a couple of seconds later with everything and lays it all out on the table. “What’s all of this for?” J’onn raises an eyebrow.

“Well, excuse me for wanting to be prepared for everything.” Lena snorts. “This is my very first time at trying to open up a portal, or resurrecting people or conjuring the devil or whatever it is we’re attempting! So excuse me if I want to be ready for everything.”

“Alright, girl, chill.” Alex tries a lighter tone to sound friendlier and put some of Lena’s worries aside. It doesn’t work but oh well, she tried.

She grabs J’onn’s hand and squeezes it in a reassuring manner. “Ready?”

“Let’s get our girl back.” He smiles.

As agreed, Alex sets the intensity to one and presses the blowtorch firmly against J’onn’s skin. The man closes his eyes and clenches his jaw but he seems to be doing fine.

“Set it to two.” He demands when Alex pulls it away.

“That’s not what we-“

“Alex, this is hardly doing nothing for me. Set the intensity higher!”

Alex grunts but does as she’s told when the second round comes. This time the pain intensifies and J’onn has to stifle a growl of pain when Alex puts the blowtorch on his arm for the second time. Lena watches everything in front of her from a couple of meters away; not missing one bit but also being very observant of their surroundings. Something could happen at any time.

“Set it on level three.”

“Absolutely not!” Alex raises her voice at the Martian.

“Alex, just do it!”

“Look at your arm!” The woman pleads. His arm is bright red and Alex swears she can see some blisters starting to form. “There’s no way in hell we’re doing this anymore. I was wrong about this whole pain thing. I apologise. This was a stupid idea.”

“Maybe it wasn’t.” Lena suddenly speaks up as she approaches them. “I think the idea was good, but the method wasn’t adequate. The fire offers high pain but only for mere seconds; maybe what we need to do is reduce the intensity and prolong the duration.”

“I’ll go again.” J’onn volunteers. When he gets up, though, his head feels all dizzy to the point where Alex and Lena have to hold him to prevent him from falling headfirst.

“I’ll do it.” Alex says once they were able to sit J’onn back down and gave him some of the ointment and towels. Lena protests but she cuts her off. “Both you and J’onn have had a go. Let me try now. _Please_.”

Lena sighs but nods. “Here’s what we’ll do: I’ll cut off your air and blood supply by pressing your chest really hard until the point where you’ll be gasping for air. When your brain realises it won’t be getting it, you’ll start to feel lightheaded and feel as if you were losing consciousness.” Lena pauses in order to take a deep breath. “And then I’ll press even harder until you effectively fall unconscious.”

“That seems extremely unsafe.” J’onn says.

“Oh, yeah, it is.” Lena says in a lighter tone than expected given the circumstances. “That’s why I think I should be the one to do it.”

“No, I haven’t changed my mind. I’ll go.” Alex says.

“Alright then. Lean against the wall over there.” Lena instructs.

Alex obeys as she reclines her back on the wall the brunette pointed to.

“Well, look at them.” J’onn mutters as he watches from afar. “So young and willing to kill themselves.”

“I heard it! And it will work!” Lena yells back. “Please, work.” She whispers the last part to herself as she positions herself right in front of Alex.

“I’m going to press on your chest now.” She informs the DEO agent before putting her hands on top of Alex’s chest.

“Okay.”

“You won’t be getting any oxygen and your lungs will feel as if they were on fire.”

“Alright.”

“Your brain will tell you to fight me off and suck some air in.”

“Aha.”

“But you can’t.”

“I figured.”

“After a while, your knees will give out and you’ll fall on your ass. Unconscious.”

“Sounds super fun.”

Lena exhales longer this time and right after getting Alex’s nod of permission, she presses on Alex’s chest.

Alex passes out.

***

“So that went great.” James grunts while exiting the car.

“I didn’t know you two knew each other!” Winn puts his hands in the air in an exasperated manner.

“Whatever.” James shakes his head. Even though he didn’t trust Luthor one bit, he hoped he would be of service but turns out all he managed to do was get furious for nothing. “Do you think the DEO will help us?” He stops in front of the building; hands on his hips and gaze on the top of the building.

“Well, if this doesn’t work… then I don’t think anything will.” He pats James on the back when he passes him.

“That’s reassuring.” James sarcastically responds under his breath. He watches Winn go inside the building with such confidence that it takes a lot not to feel hopeful. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, though, because if this doesn’t turn out well… they’ll be having these weird dreams forevermore. So, with a deep breath, he follows the shorter man inside.

***

There’s a knock on the door. But before neither of them can move, the intruders let themselves in without so much as waiting for permission.

“Hello there, I’m- Oh my God, she’s dead!” He covers his mouth and stops in his tracks upon realising there’s an unresponsive woman lying on the floor.

“She is not dead!” Lena yells back before turning around. When she does, though, she lets out a squeak of joy and sprints to Winn; hugging him impossibly tight. “Winn!”

“Oh, Mrs. Luthor. Hi.” He is incredibly confused as to why the CEO of LuthorCorp and driver-who-almost-ran-him-over-some-days-ago is doing at the DEO, but overall, why she seems so genuine happy to see him.

“Hello” James speaks up once Lena’s detached from him. He extends his hand to the woman. “I’m-“

“James!” She hugs him as tightly as she did with Winn. The man hesitates for a moment but then decides to reciprocate; his touch, though, is much shy and soft.

“I’m so glad to see you, boys.” J’onn smiles at them and extends his not-injured extremity to them. They all shake hands.

“So thank you both for such a heartfelt welcome.” Winn claps his hand together as he chuckles nervously. “We came here in hopes you may help us with… something.”

“Ugh, their minds haven’t made the click yet.” Lena tells J’onn.

“It would appear so.”

“Well, alright then.” Lena shrugs grabbing the blowtorch and turning it on before taking a step forward.

“Whoa, whoa, there!” James puts his hands up in defence and takes a couple of steps back. “Careful with that.”

“Oh my God, did you kill that agent with that?” Winn asks from his new position: hiding behind James.

“For the last time: she is not dead!” The brunette grunts. “And she is not ‘just an agent’, she’s Alex.”

The men look at each other, equally as confused. “Let’s try something else.” J’onn suggests. “What did you came here for?”

“Well” James hesitantly explains “we both have been having these weird dreams for the past nights about someone, but neither of us recognises them and, honestly, at first I didn’t pay it much attention but then as days went by I started to grow worried. Then I met Winn, who told me was feeling pretty much the same and it made me think it could be somehow connected.”

“Yeah” Winn pitches in “so we went to see Lex Luthor but he turned out to be more problematic than helpful so-“

“What did he tell you?” Lena hurriedly asks.

“Oh, sorry, Mrs. Luthor.” Winn apologises. “I know he’s your brother and I didn’t mean to insult him or you-“

“Cut the crap, Winn.” It’s the first time Lena’s talked so rudely to him but right now she doesn’t find it in herself to care. “What does he know?”

“Uh, well” he is a little bit taken aback by Lena’s sudden impoliteness “he knows we needed to remember something and we told him we were coming over here?” It’s not meant to be a question but it sounds like it when Winn voices it; feeling very uneasy under Lena’s gaze.

“Fuck!” Lena yells. She brings her hands to her head and starts pacing around the room.

“Wha- what’s all the fuss about?” James asks.

“If Lex knows that we’re onto something and that we’re all gathered here he’ll undoubtedly come for us anytime now. We need to go somewhere else.”

“What about the deceased woman?” Winn shyly points towards Alex midst chaos.

As if on cue, Alex opens her eyes wide open and gasps loudly for air. Lena and J’onn are with her in a matter of two seconds. Alex’s breath is ragged, as if she had been drowning in the ocean for the last minutes. She tries to speak through the intakes of breaths but Lena reassures her that the first thing she needs to do is calm herself down and regain the normality of her breath.

Alex does as she’s told. She closes her eyes and tries to focus all of her energy on her breathing despite aching to tell them what she found out.

“I know where Kara is.” When her chest stops hurting and her head stops spinning, she clutches onto Lena’s hand and looks deep into her eyes. “And I know how to bring her back.”


	10. Just hold on, I'm coming home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took so long and the chapter is so short... I haven't had much free time lately and this is the best I could do. Sorry again and I hope you enjoy whatever this is.

“Thank you.”

“Sure; no problem.” Theodore offers Kara a genuine smile and albeit he cannot see her, he knows Kara’s smile is full of gratitude. “Glad I could be of service.”

“None of this would’ve been possible without your help.” Kara walks over to the man and puts a hand on top of his left shoulder. It doesn't take long before he brings his hand up as well and squeezes Kara’s hand in his own. “So really; _thank you_.”

Theodore presses his lips together and ducks his head down. “Well, it’s the least I can do.”

“Now my sister will know where to look for me.” Kara sighs in relief. Finally being able to hear Alex –if at least only momentarily- really put Kara’s mind slightly at ease. Now she knows they all remember her and are working something out to bring her back. Kara closes her eyes and lets out a long breath which quickly turns into a smile from ear to ear.

_‘Kara? Kara?’ She thinks she hears a faint voice calling for her but since it sounds very distant and distorted, she attributes it to her mind playing games with her and dismisses it. But then she hears it a second time._

_“Did you hear that?” Kara asks Theodore as they make a left on the next corner down by the tunnels._

_Before the man can say anything, Kara hears it again: this time a little bit louder and clearer. “Kara, can you hear me?!”_

_“Wait” Kara tells Theodore before they can make it any further “I think I recognise the voice.” Kara furrows her brows and tries to listen in closely in order to decipher where the voice is coming from. But she doesn’t know. There are a multitude of bifurcations and the voice seems to be coming from everywhere._

_“Alex?!” Kara yells once it’s finally dawned on her. “Alex, where are you?”_

_“Wait, Kara, don’t-“ Theodore tries to tell her but it’s already too late. Kara’s sprinted down the tunnels in an unknown direction whilst trying to locate the source of the voice. She runs for a while but after the umpteenth failed attempt at finding Alex, she decides to just leap off and fly; considering it will be much faster and efficient. When she jumps, though, Kara’s utterly astonished as well as horrified upon falling flat on her face._

_She gets up in one swift motion and tries it again. And again. And again, and again but she always gets the same result: nothing. She starts to feel overwhelmed by the situation, so she tells herself to calm down and tries her heat vision. Once again: nothing. Her heartbeat picks up and her breathing is uneven due to the anxiety the whole scene is causing her. Meanwhile her sister’s voice keeps ringing unceasingly in her ears._

_Kara looks down at her hands. She wiggles her fingers, as if to test them. When she looks up, she walks over to the nearest wall and with all strength she can muster, she punches it. She hears a crack, followed by an intense pain on her knuckles. Kara grunts as she recoils her hand and examines it. If the bruises already forming, the blood and the excruciating pain are any indication to go by, she’d say she’s broken at least a couple fingers on the process._

_She caresses her hand softly as she takes in this new piece of information: she has no powers down here._

_“That’s simply fantastic.” She mutters sarcastically under her breath. She feels like crying. She’s all alone down in this hellhole without her powers, her family and friends and with no hope of getting back home any time soon. But she won’t stop. Not now that she can hear Alex so close._

_“Kara! Kara, where are you?” Kara looks towards the direction of the sound; but that was not her sister calling for her. That was Theodore._

_“I’m here!” She yells back. After all, he knows his way down these tunnels way better than she does. Kara realises now how stupid it was of her to wander all alone when she has no idea how to get anywhere._

_“Kara?” He calls when he’s by the same corridor as her. Kara calls for him once again and in a matter of seconds he’s once again by her side. “Are you okay?”_

_“Yeah.” She growls slightly because of the pain but tries her best to hide it. The expression on Theodore’s face makes Kara think he somehow knows; but neither say anything. “I can’t find Alex.” She explains._

_“That’s because she’s not here.” Theodore calmly explains._

_“No, she is! I can hear her. She’s here! We have to find her and-“_

_“Kara” he says sternly “she’s not. She can’t get to us; just like we can’t get to her.”_

_“But-“ Kara’s voice trembles the slightest. She knows she heard her sister’s voice. And she won’t stop looking for her until she finds her._

_“We cannot get to her, but we can talk to her.” Kara’s voice gets caught in her throat. She’ll have whatever she can get. And right now, all she wishes is to talk to her sister. “Come with me.”_

_“How come you know exactly which way to go? For how long have you been trapped down here?” Kara asks after a while._

_“Well, I wasn’t always blind.” Theodore’s voice has taken a more serious tone now. “When I first came down here, I knew right away no one would be looking for me so I’d spent all day roaming aimlessly down these corridors.”_

_“It must’ve been really lonely.” Kara tries in a shy voice._

_“It wasn’t, really. There were a lot of people down here with me.” He sounds almost regretful. “Sometimes, though, I wished I was all alone. I wished for all those people to be able to go back home.” He takes a pause to gather his thoughts before resuming. “After all, they were here because of me.”_

_“What do you mean?” Kara frowns._

_“I don’t know how much you’ve heard of the story- or if you’ve heard of the story at all- but people down here don’t know me by my real name. They know me by the alias I’d given myself: ‘the Soul-Ripper’.” Theodore sighs right before stopping and turning around to face Kara. “I’m the reason everyone is trapped down here, Kara.”_

_“W-what?”_

_“I- I lost track of who I was. And I invented a weapon to trap souls. I shot everyone who ever crossed me and they all came down here to wander down these tunnels for eternity.”_

_Kara’s mouth is agape. She cannot comprehend how this compassionate and refined man could’ve done something like this._

_“After a while I couldn’t take anymore the sight of those poor people, so I scratched my own eyes out so I wouldn’t have to look at them.”_

_Kara was at a complete loss of words. Should she yell at him? Should she feel sorry for the man? He seemed to greatly regret what he did. Even so…_

_“Did-“ Kara finally settles for something more gracious “did someone ever make it out?”_

_Theodore stays silent for a while. His expression is sombre and his lips are pursed together. “Only one. A man.”_

_“How did he do it?” Even though she tries not to let her emotions get to the best of her, after hearing those words she can’t help but feel slightly hopeful._

_“I showed him how. We worked together for months until we figured a way out. We discovered we were able to open up a portal through memories; but they had to be strongly tethered to a connection you were supposed to make with someone on the other side.” Theodore’s voice catches in his throat. “But when the time came… well, it didn’t work out the way we thought it would.”_

_“What do you mean? He got out, didn’t he?”_

_“Yes. He did but-“ the man clenches his jaw as the hurtful memories come flooding back to him “he never made it out alive to the other side. When he crossed the portal” Theodore tells Kara “he was fine, but the journey back can be really stressful for both the body and the mind. We knew that, but we weren’t entirely sure how challenging it would turn out to really be.”_

_Theodore leans against the nearest wall and Kara realises then that the man is silently crying. “I told him. I told him it was too soon and that we weren’t ready yet but-“ his voice is strangled and he can hardly get the words out “but he wanted to get back to his daughter, he couldn’t- he couldn’t abandon her, and then when he crossed to the other side, he-“ Theodore exhales slowly, trying to steady his voice, but to no avail “he burned alive.”_

_Once again, Kara does not know how to proceed from here. So she does what she does best: she comforts him. The man smiles weakly at Kara’s weak attempts at making him not feel guilty but after a while she realises her efforts are useless, for the man already decided a long time ago he was the cause for all suffering that happened on that creepy kindergarten. And no matter what anyone else said, he’d never believe a single word._

_They stay silent for a while after that, neither one of them wanting to break the quietness surrounding them until Theodore clears his throat and apologises for ‘being such a downhearted man’, as he said and leads Kara once more through the tunnels until they reach a closed door._

_Kara takes notice of the rusty sign hanging. It seems to be really old and Kara can’t really read it so she narrows her eyes. She thinks she reads ‘principal’s office’._

_The girl turns her head quizzically looking for Theodore but he’s already ahead of her and opening the door with a plunk using his cane. He invites her in with a wave of hand and so she goes in._

_“Kara?” The incoming voice makes the reporter jump on the spot. Her hand rapidly flying to her chest, where her heart seems to be beating ten times faster than usual._

_“Rao, what was that?” her voice sounds more strangled than she’d anticipated but she pays it no attention; for she is too busy looking in every single direction looking for the place of origin of the voice._

_“Only you can hear it, Kara.” Theodore tells her as he comes up from behind her. “If you want to communicate with it, though, you’re going to need to do as I say.”_

_Kara nods without taking into consideration the fact that the man cannot see her, so she scratches the back of her head as she voices her approval._

_For the next ten minutes, Theodore has Kara assembling all kind of things that are either scattered around the room or have been long forgotten inside one of the boxes on the top shelf. Kara has no idea what she’s doing at first, but after a while she starts to catch on: she’s piecing together a podcast-like microphone._

_Once she’s done, Theodore instructs her to turn it on. When Kara does, the voice she’s been hearing for the past half hour bring tears to her eyes. This time, instead of fighting them, she fully cries when she calls out for her sister and can’t stop the fit of laughter that erupts from her as Alex answers back._

_“Oh, Alex! You have no idea how much I’ve missed your voice.”_

_“I’ve missed you too, Kara.” Alex’s calm voice puts Kara’s mind at ease. She seems to be okay after all._

_“How is everyone? Is everybody okay? How’s Lena? Has she-?”_

_“Kara” her sister cuts her off because she knows the blonde will keep asking her a thousand questions and she is not certain of how much time she has before she’s pulled back “everybody is fine. Lena” she makes a point to emphasize the brunette’s name so Kara can hear loud and clear “is totally fine; she just misses you like crazy.”_

_“Tell her I miss her too.” Alex is a little taken aback at how little and vulnerable Kara sounds right now._

_“No need. You’ll soon be able to tell her yourself because we’re bringing you back home!” Kara feels another torrent of tears coming out of her eyes. She doesn’t trust her voice to speak right now, but seeing as there’s no other way Alex can know what she’s thinking, she voices her gratitude. “All we need is for you to tell us where you are.”_

_“Oh, uh-“ Kara rambles as she looks around her “I wouldn’t really know how to start describing this place. All I know is that I’m in some kind of kindergarten called Perpetua Tenebris. It’s dark and humid everywhere I go and there are a lots of tunnels. Like a lot, Alex. You would not believe how many tunnels there are down here. They’re like”_

_“Alright, Kara” Alex chuckles “no need to tell me everything about the tunnels. Just tell me if you’ve find out anything about how to get out. We’re working on a way to get you out but we’re not entirely sure yet and-“_

_“I- I think I may know a way.” Kara stutters. “There’s someone down here with me that taught me how.”_

_Upon hearing Kara’s statement, Theodore –who had been standing on the corner of the room so to not intrude- turns his head in her direction and shakes it from side to side, making it very clear he won’t let her go the same way the other man did. But Kara ignores him._

_“All we need to do is connect through a memory attached to a deep feeling. It has to be strong, though, otherwise the portal will close too soon.” Kara tells Alex. “We have to decide which memory it’s going to be now so we can-“_

_“Kara?” Alex asks her. Her voice sounds worried._

_“Alex? Alex, are you okay?”_

_“Kara? I- I think I’m losing you.” Alex’s voice sounds distorted and which each second, Kara has a harder time understanding the words. “Kara-“_

_“Alex?!” Kara holds onto the microphone incredibly tight. If it weren’t for the fact that she doesn’t have her powers down here, she would’ve broken it by now. She calls for her sister again and again but it isn’t until Theodore places his hand on top of Kara’s shoulder that the girl realises there’s no one on the other side of the line._

_She lets out a long and heavy breath. She feels happier now that she’s been able to talk to Alex and she knows her friends are fine. And Lena, oh, Lena. There’s not a single time throughout her stay here that she hasn’t thought about Lena. The fact that Alex’s assured her that the brunette’s fine and missing her has definitely put Kara’s mind a little bit at ease._

_At least now she knows how to get out of here. The only problem? Well, without her powers, she doesn’t know how she’s going to prevent the portal from burning her alive._


	11. I will always come back to you

“Okay” Lena claps her hands together “so how do we bring her back?”

“She said to think of a memory that triggers some kind of emotion.” Alex explains.

“That seems… easy.” Lena says rather surprised. She was expecting something a lot more elaborate.

“The layout is pretty simple” Alex agrees “but she also said both her and someone from this side need to think about the same mental image in order for this to work.”

“Okay… so which memory did she tell you to bear in mind?”

Alex ducks her head down. “The connection was lost before we could agree on one. So I have no idea.”

“So I guess it’s just trial and error method until we get the right one.” J’onn sighs.

Lena nods absent-mindedly, her brain working a hundred miles per hour already thinking of every single key milestone memory that could be useful. It turns out to be way harder than anticipated because at first impression and according to Lena’s criteria, each one deserves a special importance.

There’s of course the day they met. Kara had picked up Lena’s interest since the very first moment the brunette had laid eyes on her. The CEO tried not to show too much interest at first –this was a serious interview for the Daily Planet, after all- but ultimately gave into her desire to get to know the blonde better and what started as a work affinity ended up being the best relationship she’s ever had.

The first time Supergirl saved her life. It Lena’s being honest, she’d say that even she didn’t know the superhero that well back then and though she was being held at gunpoint mid-air in that chopper; she’d been more scared for the blonde’s wellbeing than her own.

She also recalls the first time she felt drawn to the blonde. It was late at night and most of the employees had already left but not Lena; she still had work to do, plus she enjoyed the quietness of the empty building. A quietness that didn’t last for long before Kara barged unannounced into her office –Lena’s assistant sprinting behind the blonde and apologising for the sudden intrusion. Lena would usually be at least a little vexed at the fact that someone would just walk in and out of her own office unbothered as if they were in Times Square; but she wasn’t with Kara. Instead, she instructed her assistant to make a note downstairs to let Kara be shown in whenever possible. Neither Kara nor the assistant were expecting that reaction, but both accepted it. That memory brings a little smile to Lena’s features.

The sound of a chair being dragged across the room makes her lift her head up and when she sees Alex, she can’t stop the small chuckle that comes out of her mouth as she remembers the day Alex was properly introduced to her. She had gone to Kara’s flat to ask for a favour when she realised the blonde was not alone. She shrugged it off at first but when Alex introduced herself as ‘special agent Alex Danvers’, Lena felt a glint of jealousy course through her. The 0,5 seconds it took for Kara to tell the brunette the other woman was her sister were enough to already make Lena think they were actually married to one another. In light of the new information, she let herself relax if only the slightest.

She then thinks of all the times Kara saved her life: the first time on the chopper, the time she was pushed off the balcony and Supergirl rescued her, the night the superhero put herself at great risk by fighting Metallo and exposing herself to Kryptonite whilst Lena was unconscious on the floor –Kara knows she could’ve died saving Lena, but still she chose to risk her own life, even though both Alex and Winn were telling her to get out, in order to bring Lena to safety- and many other countless times where no matter where Lena was; Kara would always be there. Still, Lena feels as if she couldn’t pick just one memory. There all held a special place in her heart.

She looks around the room and sees everyone deep in thought, just as she’d been seconds prior. She’s about to say something when a loud thud echoes through the walls, followed by an alarm.

“What was that?” Winn asks feeling suddenly nervous.

“I’ll go check.” J’onn informs them as he makes his way decidedly to the door. “You stay here.”

“I’m coming with you.” Alex hurries by his side without a second thought. The man wants to protest but Alex beats him to it. “I won’t take no for an answer. I’m coming with you and that’s final.” She walks past him; J’onn looks at her for a moment in awe, feeling very proud of how well Alex has handed things lately.

“Wait” James calls for them once they both are almost out “what are we supposed to do? We can help.”

“The best way you can help us right now” Alex instructs him “is by staying safe until we know for sure what set the alarm off.” And with that, both Alex and J’onn leave.

Lena chooses not to say anything and instead watches them silently go. Once they’re out of sight, the three remnants of the group exchange concerned glances. None of them say anything for five minutes until James decides to break the silence.

“They should’ve been able to shut the alarm off by now, right?”

“Maybe they haven’t reached the panel yet?” Winn offers. “The DEO facilities are pretty big and it may be quite chaotic out there with agents running up and down the halls trying to find what set it off in the first place so-“ Right then, the shrilling sound stops.

They all let out a sigh of relief right before the lights went off. “Uh, Winn?” Lena asks unsure. “Did you turn out the lights?”

“No. No, I didn’t.” He puts his hands out as if that would prove his point.

“Then we may have a problem.” Lena gulps as she takes a step back in caution. “Because I don't think turning off an alarm should leave the entire building without electricity.”

A gunshot echoes through the block. Followed by a second, a third and a fourth one.

“Quick, to the panic room!” Winn yells feeling the rush of adrenaline and fear course through his body.

“There is no panic room, Winn!” James yells back.

“Any room can be a panic room if you panic enough.” He contradicts his friend.

“I don’t care if you’re panicking. Just do it quietly!“

“I-“

“Will the two of you shut it already?!” Lena whisper-yells. She makes a sign with her hand to make them stay quiet. They instantly do. Lena walks slowly but determinately to the door. She stops when her hand reaches the doorknob. She hears both Winn and James calling out for her and telling her to stay right where she is; afraid of something happening to Lena. “We need to find Alex and J’onn, they-“

But the door is suddenly being pulled open; preventing Lena to finish what she was saying. She looks up to find herself standing face to face with Lex Luthor. Right behind him is Jack.

Lex pushes Lena forcefully into the office and Jack makes quick work of shutting the door closed and locking it from the inside.

“Hi, sis.” The man chants wickedly. A devilish grin adorns his face. “Missed me?”

“Lex…” She grunts between her gritted teeth. James walks over to Lex with every intention of punching him square in the face, but the sight of the gun in Jack’s hand stops him.

“Thought it was about time we had a little chat.” His eyes pierce holes into Lena’s and she can’t help but feel uneasy under his intense look. Even so, she does her best to look composed and defiant; not wanting to let Lex see right through her. “You all have been meddling into things that did not concern you at all.”

“Excuse me?!” Lena raises her tone of voice as she takes a step closer to her brother. “Since when is the disappearance of a friend none of our concern?”

“Pft” Lex rolls his eyes and lightly chuckles “that scumbag was making all of our lives miserable.”  Lena’s blood boils and she unconsciously clenches her fists. “If anything, you should be _thanking_ me she’s gone.”

That’s the last straw. Lena can only see red when she launches herself onto Lex. As she’s about to reach him, Jack comes in between them and grabs Lena’s wrist firmly on his free hand. “I told you to stay out of it, Lena.”

The brunette fights him off and stands rebelliously in front of him. “And _you_ ” she looks at Jack with such disgust and anger that he almost regrets having been part of this “how could you do this? First you made me believe you died when the nanobots got to you and then you show up out of thin air and try to kill Kara?” She dismisses Lex momentarily in order to project all of her pent-up rage onto him. “Is this your way of revenge for choosing to save Supergirl over you? Are you really that fucking petty?”

Jack lets go of his passive side and takes on a harsher tone. “Ever since you met her, she’s all you ever talked about, Lena. She became your centre of focus and it was practically impossible to get your attention.” He is visibly getting more and more exasperated as he starts recalling every single time he tried to talk to Lena and the blonde would always be right there. “I invited you to the presentation of the Biomax and Kara was there. I tried to find you as soon as the presentation was over so I could talk to you and Kara was there. I asked you to dinner and guess what? Kara was there!”

Lena opens her mouth but Jack doesn’t let her speak. “I didn’t think much of it at first, but as time went by it became clearer to me that I had absolutely no chances of getting back together with you as long as she was in the picture.”

To say Lena is mad would be an understatement. She is way beyond angry; she’s utterly enraged at Jack’s confession; but more so, she’s furious with herself but having _married_ him. That one’s completely on her. She feels sick to her stomach as she remembers how little effort it took for her to say ‘yes’. Yes, not only was Kara gone, but she also had no recall whatsoever of the blonde ever existing on the first place; still… She believes she should’ve known something was off when she saw Lex smiling so brightly upon hearing they’d be marrying one another. She had never seen him so happy before. She chastens herself for not having seen the first red flag.

“You were always, Lena.” Jack tells her. “But whenever Kara was close by… God” he chuckles sickeningly “you turned into this idiotic person. It was pathetic.”

“Leave her alone!” It’s James’ voice that finally makes Jack look up and stop talking, if only for a second.

“Yeah, or what?” He cockily challenges.

James has a thousand great comebacks; however, he settles for a more… physical alternative. He stomps over to where Jack is standing, ready to punch him but Jack just sighs and aims the gun at James’ chest. “Stay back, big boy. Wouldn’t want to hurt you.” The fact that Jack smiles right after only makes the whole situation more sickening.

“They grow up so fast.” Lex pretends to wipe off a tear as he looks at Jack proudly, like a father watches his son ride a bike on his own for the first time.

“I can’t believe I ever cared about you.” Lena shakes her head as if to dismiss those memories.

“What is going to happen to us now?” Winn asks, incredibly scared of the answer already.

“Well” Lex claps his hands together while pacing around the office “you’re the only ones –aside from Alex and the Martian- capable of getting Kara back and we cannot have that… so you’ve left us with no choice other than take care of you. And for good this time.”

They start arguing after that but Lena stopped listening awhile back.

Lena feels as if she was betraying Kara and the thought alone makes her head feel dizzy. Not only did she forget about her completely, but she also believes she lost a lot of time running around trying to find a way to bring her back. She’s supposed to be a genius, for God’s sake, she should’ve been able to find a way to bring her back in a heartbeat. Instead, she let many days go by, unable to think of anything that may’ve helped their case. She doesn’t want to think of how scared Kara must’ve been, how alone she must’ve felt and, most of all, how forgotten.

The brunette feels tears in her eyes but forces them to stay right there instead of letting everyone –especially Lex and Jack- realise she’s crying. Because that would make them feel they had won. And that’s something Lena won’t accept.

She shuts her eyes tight and silently apologises to Kara for not being much of a help, for not being there by her side –what’s most, for not having it been Lena herself the one taken- and also for taking that much time trying to sort out through her memories together to be able to pick one and finally being able to bring her back.

She’s not scared of dying, but the image of Kara being left there on her own, thinking they gave up on her, _terrifies_ her. She pictures Kara on the other side, sorting through her memories with everybody and wondering why it isn’t working, wondering if her friends have stopped trying.

Lena looks over to Jack’s gun and shivers. ‘ _I hope there was more I could’ve done to help_ ’, she thinks. ‘ _You did everything you could, Lena. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine_ ’, she pictures Kara saying if she were actually there. Even though that’s all in her head, Lena can’t help but feel bad. She’s the one who should be comforting, not needing consolation.

Lena then thinks of the multiple times Kara comforted her when she was at her worst. Every single time, the blonde was by her side. She is not ready to lose Kara forever.

‘ _You’re not gonna lose me_.’ Lena can still hear Kara in her mind; can still _feel_ her. She remembers the blonde saying those exact words to her the day Jack died.

‘ _I think when I feel things again, I’m gonna be very afraid; about the person I might be_.’ She remembers answering back. She felt so vulnerable and scared, but when she looked into Kara’s eyes, she found herself slowly relaxing. That was one of Kara’s abilities: putting Lena’s mind at ease.

‘ _You don’t have to be afraid. I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere_.’ Kara’s word held meaning back then and they hold the same meaning now.

_‘You promise?_ ’ Lena timidly asked then, already aware of all the people who said the same thing in the past but then turned their back on her when she thought she could rely on them.

‘ _I will always protect you. I promise._ ’ That’s the exact same moment Lena realised she was in love with Kara. And she never got to tell her.

“I will always protect you, too.” Lena whispers mostly to herself as she shuts her eyes even tighter.

Right then, a shrieking sound erupted from all around the room.

“What’s that?” Lex angrily screams. “What did you do?!” He shakes Winn by the collar of his shirt as the latter shakes his head from side to side, being equally as confused.

One of the walls is projecting light. They all look in that direction but the light is so blindly bright they can barely see anything. James takes advantage of this moment of confusion to punch Jack. The commotion makes him take a step back and James quickly goes for the gun on his hand.

As soon as Winn realises James’ intentions, he runs over to Lex and pushes him as hard as he can.

Midst-chaos, Lena doesn’t know what to do. She’s about to help James when she spots a shadow at the end of the tunnel the light created. She narrows her eyes and looks straight into the light, despite of the discomfort looking directly into a shiny light causes. After a couple of seconds, she is able to recognise it.

“Kara!” She yells as she waves her arms up and down, hoping that would catch the blonde’s attention. “Kara, we can see you! We’re right here.”

She sees Kara’s shadow turning around and looking straight at her. Once the blonde’s also recognised Lena, she starts running towards her. As she gets closer and closer to the brunette, she feels her body hurting more and more. Theodore was not exaggerating when he said she’d burn alive.

Kara slows down a little and tries to stifle the groan that fights to get past her lips. “You’re almost there, Kara! Don’t stop!” Lena’s encouraging words is what keeps Kara going. She takes a deep breath and looks directly into Lena’s eyes now that she can see a little more than just a shadow. She looks back and sees Theodore smiling reassuringly at her. “You can do this, Kara!” He shouts at her. The blonde smiles thankfully and resumes her path.

As she nears the end, the pain is almost too much to handle. Her skin is taking a bright red tone and her forehead is damp with sweat. Still, she won’t stop now that she’s so close to coming back home. So she growls and sprints as fast as she can towards Lena.

Upon realising Kara is about to return, Jack fights James more forcefully, but the latter grabs Jack’s wrist and twists it painfully until he has to unwillingly let go of the gun. It falls to the ground and James quickly kicks it out of their reach and under a shelf.

“Lena!” Jack shouts. “Lena, please! If Kara comes back, I’ll be gone forever.”

Lena doesn’t take her eyes off the tunnel but confusion’s written all over James’ face. “I’m just a product of the Soul-Ripper’s gun. I only exist because Kara never did. In the real world, I died because you saved her from the nanobots. Please, Lena” he pleads as he falls to the ground “stop this.”

Lena pays no attention to him, for she is only focusing on Kara right now. The blonde is _almost_ at grasp.

However, due to Jack’s scream she was unable to hear Kara’s own screams of pain. Now that he’s gone, she can hear her clearly.

“Kara?!” Lena’s voice is filled with dread and she can only hope that Kara’s fine. “Kara, please, talk to me.”

“Lena.” Kara grunts. Her body is having a hard time moving and now every step is torture. She’s only a couple of meters away.

“Kara, grab my hand!” Lena extends her arm and waits for Kara to hold onto her. When she finally feels the brunette’s fingers clutching on her hand, she grabs her tightly and pulls hard towards her.

Kara falls on top of Lena and the tunnel immediately closes. Jack screams in pain until he evaporates under everyone’s astonished gaze –well, everyone’s except for the brunette, whose attention is solely on the blonde.

“God, I’m so glad you’re home.” Lena finally lets the tears to fall from her eyes as she puts her arms around the blonde to hold her impossibly tight. “I’ve missed you so much.”

It takes Lena a couple of seconds to realise Kara’s not hugging her back, nor saying anything. She pulls her head back as far as she can, given their current position, in order to look at the blonde’s face. When she does, she can’t suppress the sob that tangles itself on her throat.

Kara’s not breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient. I’m well aware I’ve taken longer to post than expected… so my apologies. That was the penultimate chapter for this fic so we’ve only got one more to go and I’ll be able to finally set you free once and for all. Again, sorry for the delay.


	12. No distance could ever tear us apart

The sight of Kara being so… _lifeless_ triggers a feeling of sheer terror that Lena’s never in her life felt before. The fear engulfs her whole body and twists her heart in an extremely hurtful way.

She tries to move from under Kara but her body feels too weak to crawl back and the numbness she’s started to feel does not help her case at all. Her breath comes out ragged and uneven. Lena knows she’s losing control of her own body but she can’t do anything to stop it.

Her panic attack reaches its peak the moment it dawns on her that, because of the stiffness on her body, she’s unable to help Kara. It’s quite an unbreakable paradox, really: the more Lena wants to help Kara, the more challenging it gets; and subsequently her fear increases, which only worsens the panic attack.

She tries to ask James and Winn for help but her voice won’t come out. Lena’s whole body is trembling and as each second passes she has a harder time breathing. Her mind starts to feel dizzy.

Thankfully, Winn soon realises what’s causing Lena’s reaction and launches into action. He rushes to both women and, with much more strength than expected, pulls Kara off Lena and lays the blonde on her own back.

He quickly positions himself next to Kara and tilts her head back whilst pinching her nose. He then blows air into Kara’s lungs twice before letting go of Kara’s nose in order to pressure onto her chest up to ten times.

Lena watches the scene unfold from her spot still on the ground a mere couple of meters away. She watches Winn press onto Kara’s chest over and over again, each time harsher and more desperately. And with each push, Lena’s heart twitches painfully and her vision begins to blur.

Right when she thinks she’ll pass out, James comes running by her side and holds Lena’s body up before pushing his own thighs under Lena’s back. The brunette isn’t so much as sitting but it’s the best James can do given their situation. At least Lena’s body is kind of upright at the moment. James places his left arm around Lena’s shoulders to hold her still.

“You need to calm down, Lena.” He puts his right palm on top of Lena’s chest. “You’re having a panic attack.”

Lena tries to ask him about Lex but her stuttering prevents her. Even though she doesn’t manage to get the message out, James understands:

“Lex won’t bother us. I tied him up in the corner and placed a cloth over his mouth. Don’t worry.” He reassuringly informs her.

Lena nods in comprehension and closes her eyes momentarily before looking over to Kara’s spot again. However, due to James’ position, his body is completely blocking the view and Lena can no longer see Kara. She tries to protest and ask James to move but he doesn’t. Instead, he asks her to close her eyes and try to regain the normality of her breathing. Lena frowns, which only causes James to ask her again:

“Lena, please. I know you want to help Kara” he exhales with his head ducked down “but right now, the only way you can help her is by listening to me.” Still, Lena wouldn’t do as James instructed. The man turns his head to Winn to check how he’s doing but he sadly doesn’t see much progress. Winn’s rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and is still trying to get Kara to open her eyes. “Winn’s doing everything he can” he tells Lena. “We can’t have you lying unconscious when Kara wakes up, right? So, _please_ , do as I say.” He reasons with her. That seems to finally do the trick because after Lena unsuccessfully tries to sneak a glance at Kara, she looks back up at James and waits for further instructions.

“Okay, Lena.” James’ voice comes out incredibly calm; Lena almost wants to be angry at him because of Kara’s current state, but she also realises he’s putting on a show for her own well-being so she decides not to comment on it. “I want you to look around the room and tell me five things you see.”

Instead of questioning him, Lena does as told. “I- I see a table” she looks at James and he nods approvingly and encourages her to continue “I see- I see some chairs, a shelf, a notepad and- and a door.” Her chest hurts a lot but she manages to push through.

“Well done, Lena. Now I want you to tell me the name of four body parts beginning with the letter ‘T’.” James hopes this exercise will help Lena’s mind stop thinking about Kara and Winn and focus instead on trivial things.

“Toe, tooth” Lena closes her eyes and thinks about what James instructed her “thumb and tongue.”

James smiles down at Lena and tells her about the next category taking advantage of the fact that Lena hasn’t still opened her eyes. “Now I want you to name three red fruits.”

“Apple” she names the first one within the first half of a second but stops to think about the other two “raspberry and strawberry.”

Lena’s breathing is more calmed now and the pressure on her chest has almost disappeared but she doesn’t notice it at first, given that she’s too focused on James’ instructions. She’s not stupid, she knows what he’s doing; trying to occupy her mind with anything else that won’t cause her distress, so she lets him.

“Very well, Lena. How about two philosophers from ancient Greece? Can you name them?”

“Pythagoras and Aristotle.”

“Lena” James calls for Lena in such a gentle manner that Lena opens her eyes to look at him. He looks down at her with tears on the brim of his eyes as he caresses her arm. “Now tell me about something you can hear.”

Lena’s about to answer ‘your voice’ but the sound dies in her throat. She takes notice of the sudden quietness of the room: she can’t hear Winn’s pressures against Kara’s body anymore, nor Winn’s ragged breath due to the physical effort or him blowing air into Kara’s lungs. No, she doesn’t hear any of that.

Instead, the only sound that reaches her ears at the moment is Kara –breathing on her own. Weakly but evenly.

Lena thinks she’s never heard anything more beautiful in her entire life. Her own breath is also even and she realises now for the first time that her body doesn’t hurt anymore. Instead of feeling pain, her body is just aching to be near Kara again. So she sits up with James helping her and she crawls incredibly fast over to where Kara’s lying, despite James telling her she should go slower and take it easy. She pays no attention, she just wants to reach Kara and be able to finally look her in the eyes.

When she finally makes it by her side, she finds Kara looking up at her and smiling lovingly.

That’s all it takes for Lena to start crying. “Kara.” She whispers the blonde’s name as if it were a prayer, afraid that if she says it too loudly the woman might disappear.

“Lena” there’s so much wonder and love in Kara’s voice that it actually brings tears to Winn’s eyes, who quickly steps back in order to give both of them a little intimacy. “I was so scared you’d forgotten about me.” She says right after getting up on her arms and pushing herself in a sitting position. She’s also crying out of happiness and relief.

“Are you kidding?” Lena chuckles despite the cascade of tears pouring down her face. She grabs Kara’s hand on her own and squeezes hard. “I could never.”

They gaze into each other’s eyes for some time, neither of them believing that they’ve finally been able to come back to each other. After a moment, Lena speaks up. “I never said it back.”

Kara looks confused for a second until it dawns on her what Lena means. Her smile spreads from ear to ear as she shakes her head from side to side. “You don’t have to.”

“No, I want to.” She gets closer to Kara and cups Kara’s face with her free hand. “And you deserve to finally hear it.”

Before Lena can add anything else, Kara closes the remaining distance between them and kisses her. The kiss is a little salty due to the tears but none of them care. All they can think about is how good it feels to finally be able to touch and be near each other.

“I love you.” Kara tells her once they part for air. When Lena opens her eyes and looks at Kara she takes notice for the first time ever of how lovingly the blonde looks at her; of how _soft_ she looks. Lena mentally scolds herself for not having seen it sooner.

“Fuck, Kara! You’ve told me that twice already and I still haven’t had a chance to say it back.” Lena fully laughs this time. She stelas another kiss from Kara before taking on a calmer and more serious tone. “I love you, Kara. I’ve loved you for a long time now; sorry it took me so long to realise it...” Lena didn’t think it was possible for Kara to look even softer than before, which only makes the brunette want to kiss her harder. So she does.

Lena lets go of Kara’s hand in order to take her face with both her hands. The blonde puts both of her arms around Lena’s waist and holds her firmly against her. Lena smiles when she feels Kara’s embrace. She’s about to make a joke but Kara tilts her head and deepens the kiss in a way that makes Lena forget about everything else that’s not Kara, Kara and Kara.

“Ahem” Winn clears his throat exaggeratedly loudly in order to get both women attention. It seems to work because after looking at one another one last time –each of them with a blush adorning their cheeks- they turn their heads into his direction.

Winn looks at them both: Lena is raising her eyebrow, silently questioning him what the hell he wants whilst Kara is throwing daggers at him with her eyes for having forced them to part –Winn’s incredibly thankful that Kara’s not regained her heat vision yet, otherwise he wouldn’t be so sure of his fate.

“I just wanted to say, Kara” he directs his words to the blonde “that I’m incredibly glad that you’re back home.” He manages to get the words out all at once despite the many sobs that threaten to come out.

Kara can’t help but feel a tad guilty over the fact that –even if just for a moment- she disregarded her friends just so she could focus solemnly on Lena. So instead of answering right away, she squeezes Lena’s hand once more before getting up -a little sloppily- and making her way over to Winn; whom she engulfs in a tight hug.

“We’ve missed you a lot.” He cannot suppress the sobs anymore now that Kara’s in his arms and he breaks down crying.

“I’ve missed you too.” She whispers back. She holds him closer to her –as if it were a silent promise that, no matter what, she won’t ever leave their side. “Thanks for bringing me back.” She tells him when they finally part.

“Wouldn’t wanna shoot myself in the foot but uh-“ James chimes in chuckling “but we didn’t half as much of the work as your wifey over here did.” He points over to Lena, which only causes the brunette to duck her head down and laugh.

“James” Kara laughs along with him and rushes to his side, where he welcomes her with open arms. “Thank you, really. For everything.”

Before James can say anything else, there’s a loud thud coming from the other side of the door. Out of instinct, Kara takes on her fight pose but before Lena can place herself in front of the blonde as a ‘human shield’, the door opens.

“Lex and Jack broke into the facilities and-“ J’onn’s voice breaks mid-sentence when his gaze falls upon Kara. He lowers his gun as he struggles to find the words.

“Guys, are you all-“ Alex comes rushing from behind him; her gun also in place and ready to take down the intruders but similar to J’onn’s reaction, Alex doesn’t manage to finish her warning. Instead of being frozen by the astonishment, however, she is quick to drop her gun and sprint towards Kara.

The blonde lets a sigh of relief once she finds herself in her sister’s arms. “God, Kara. You’re here. You’re finally home.” Alex says between whimpers. There’s a million things Kara wants to tell her but in its place, she opts to just hug her sister impossibly tight and bury her face in the crock of her neck. They stay like that for a moment before Alex lets her go in order to give J’onn his turn.

Kara walks over to J’onn and hugs him for a long time, where neither of them say anything.

“Welcome back.” J’onn whispers when they part.

“It feels great to be back.” She answers in return.

“So” Alex says catching everybody’s attention in an attempt to try to lighten up the mood as she wipes away her own tears “how did you manage to bring her back?”

Kara and Lena steal a glance at each other. Lena bites her lip as Kara smiles sheepishly.

“Who here do you think has the strongest connection to Kara?” James teases.

“Um, I’m offended.” Winn places his right hand on top of his chest jokingly.

“Well, I would like to assume that, had the situation unfolded differently, I would have been the one to bring her back” Alex cockily –yet jokingly- says “I’m the closest to her.”

“ _Again_ ” Winn chimes in once again whilst pointing to himself “offended.”

They all laugh in unison and once the laughter subsided, Alex approaches Lena and takes both her hands on her own. “Thank you, Lena, for bringing my sister back.” She believes she’s never spoken more sincere words in her life and she knows she’ll forever be grateful to Lena. The brunette smiles kindly at her but Alex’s words come out before Lena can even open her mouth. “ _But_ , don’t you think you’re exempted from the shovel talk, young lady. You and I are still going to have a little chat.”

“I’m sorry, the what now?” Kara raises her eyebrow in confusion, but she relaxes when she realises Lena’s chuckling.

“Alex just wants to scare me off a bit.” The brunette explains. “But don’t worry, Agent Danvers” she tells Alex “I promise I won’t ever hurt Kara. I’d rather give up my company and everything I have or am than to ever cause Kara any kind of pain.”

“Oh my God” Winn whispers to James now that he’s moved closer to the taller man “is Lena asking for Alex’s blessing?”

“Well-“

“Cool!” Winn’s exclamation draws everyone’s attention to him but he doesn’t notice given that he’s so into his own head. “We’re going to their wedding! Whoo!” Before he can go on about his celebration, everyone starts talking in unison:

“What?” Kara’s more confused now than before.

“Winn-“ Lena shakes her head from side to side as if to gently dismiss her friend.

“That’s not what this is about.” Alex frowns.

“Agent Schott-“

“Alright, alright!” Winn puts his hands up in surrender as he takes a step back. “Geez, relax. But it got so dramatic for a moment that I actually thought Lena would pop a ring out of nowhere and propose.”

Everybody shakes their head at Winn’s antics. Lena takes advantage of the moment to walk back to Kara and hold her hand. Kara kisses Lena on her cheek and while the brunette tries her best to hide her blush, the blonde makes zero effort to cover the spreading grin across her face.

“I know I speak for all of us” J’onn starts saying “when I say _this_ ” he turns to Lena and Kara as if to emphasize his point “doesn’t come off as a surprise. I regret that it had to come down to this scenario for both of you to confess your feeling to one another-“ he sighs recalling all the tragic events all of them had to go through for these past weeks “but I’m glad you finally came to terms with it. And even though you don’t actually need it, you both have my blessing.”

“Are you sure this is not a wedding proposal?” Winn whispers once again to James.

Contrary to expected, it’s not Kara but Lena who goes first to hug J’onn. He takes her in his arms in the same manner he would hug Alex or Kara; not differently. He wants to make sure Lena knows she’s valued and loved.

After that, they all start hugging each other, relieved that the nightmare is finally over. There’s a muffed sound coming from the other side of the room that forces them to part. It’s Lex.

“Can I kill him?” Alex asks J’onn between gritted teeth.

“No.” He tells her, already contacting other DEO agents to come and get him out.

“Just a little bit?” Alex pleads.

“He’ll be sent to a maximum security prison where he’ll rot for the next 36 years.”

After struggling with the cloth over his mouth for a while, Lex manages to pull it down just enough so he can speak. Kara makes a move to approach him but Lena beats her to it.

She bends over him until they’re at eye level and she grabs him by the neck.

“If you _ever_ ” she threatens him while the hand around his neck starts closing “cause any of them any type of pain again, I promise you it won’t be prison the next place they send you” Lena looks back at all her friends, but her gaze centres primarily on Kara; as Lena looks at her, she can feel the fear of losing the blonde again prominent on her body so when she turn to Lex and voices the rest of the sentence, she knows those will be the last words she ever shares with her brother “it’ll be the graveyard.”

And with one last squeeze on his neck and Lex grasping for air, she lets him go and makes her way back to Kara.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, but I’m very scared that you-“ Lena starts telling Kara, but the latter doesn’t let her finish. Instead, she kisses her hard, to let her know she understands where Lena is coming from and that it’s okay.

“It’s fine.” Kara reassures her when they part. “Had you been the one taken, I would have done horrifying things to him, to be honest.”

“I’m so glad you’re back.” Lena runs her hand up and down Kara’s arm in a soothing manner.

“And I won’t ever leave your side again. I promise.”

While Lena and Kara were too preoccupied with one another, a whole team of DEO agents came in the room and took Lex to his new cell, making sure this time that he wouldn’t ever be able to come back out.

“I hate to break this moment, ladies” Alex tells them “but we have to run some tests on Kara. Find out why her skin burned like that while crossing the portal and ensure that she’ll soon be healing again.”

“Oh, about that” Kara grimaces “yeah, I forgot to tell you. I don’t have powers.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” Kara doesn’t know whether those words came from Alex’s or Lena’s mouth, given that they’re both looking at her with their mouths agape.

“I mean, only temporarily” she puts her hands up in a surrender mode as she feels both women’s eyes pierce her “I lost my powers while I was on the other side and that’s why I almost burned alive.”

“You almost burned alive?!” Alex yells at her.

“No, well, yeah. But look! I’m fine now.” Kara tries to ease the tension in the air but it doesn’t seem to be working at all because both Alex and Lena are looking at her like a mother does to her kids when she finds out they’ve eaten all the jar of cookies right before dinner.

“You could’ve died, Kara!” Lena throws her hands in the air in an exasperated manner.

“But I didn’t.” She sheepishly answers. “Aren’t you glad that I didn’t?”

“I-“ Lena exhales slowly and loudly as she contemplates how to proceed from here. She knows that if it had been the other way around, if she had been the one to cross the tunnel, she would’ve done the same. Just run over to the other side without thinking twice about the pain and the risk it would cause. All she would want is to be back home, and with the people she loves. So despite being angry at Kara for being so carefree about her own well-being, she understands. “Yeah, I’m glad you’re okay.” She hugs her and she almost wants to cry when she feels Kara’s body relax in her arms.

“I’m sorry, guys.” The blonde apologises to all her friends. “But when the tunnel opened, all I could think of is how much I wanted to be back with you all. So instead of taking precautions, I ran. And maybe the worst part” she chuckles “is that even though it actually hurts like hell, I’d do it again.” She looks at Lena and grabs her hand. “Just to be able to see, hear and touch you again.”

“I love you.” Lena whispers. Kara smiles and pulls Lena closer by the hand she’s holding in order to kiss her. That’s something Kara’s sure she won’t ever get tired of.

“Okay” Alex sighs, there’s no more fight in her “but we still have to run some tests.” Alex expects Kara to walk along her but she realises Kara’s still glued to Lena’s side. “I’ll give you guys five minutes and then I’m going to need Kara to come with me.” They both nod and Alex signals for Winn and James to get out as well in order to give them a little privacy.

“So, um” Kara doesn’t know why she suddenly feels nervous but she does “a lot of change around here, huh?”

Lena smiles lovingly at her, seeing for the first time in a long time the nervous and somewhat insecure Kara she met many time ago. Lena moves in order to stand directly in front of Kara. Because the blonde’s ducked her head down, a strand of hair is covering her face so Lena gently reaches out to tuck it behind Kara’s ear. She takes advantage of the position of her hand to raise Kara’s head back up.

“Don’t you have a company to run?” Kara asks Lena timidly.

“Please, my favourite person has been missing for weeks and now that she’s finally back, I intend to spend as much time as possible with her.” Lena’s words seem to help Kara regain some of her confidence because next thing she knows she’s smirking and inching closer to Lena.

“Lucky girl.” She whispers in Lena’s ear.

“Indeed, she is.” Lena answers with a matching smirk of her own.

“I swear to God if you two have started banging in there I’m gonna be very pissed!” Alex yells from behind the door.

“I guess that’s our cue to go.” Kara chuckles.

“It would seem so.” Lena agrees. Kara starts to make a move for the door but Lena’s voice stops her. “Uh, Kara? Would you like to, maybe, go out with me tonight?” Lena feels stupid for sounding so unsure but she can’t help herself. “We could do dinner at that restaurant you love so much?”

This is the first time Kara’s smiled so brightly since she got back. “It’s a date!” She nods before placing her hand on the doorknob. However, instead of walking straight out, she turns back and practically jumps over to where Lena is to kiss her hard once more. “See you tonight, babe.”

And with that, she goes out the door; leaving Lena grinning from ear to ear and already grabbing her phone to make a reservation. She thinks she’s never been happier.

But she’s wrong. Tonight, after dinner, Kara’s planning on dragging her to her apartment and showing her how much she loves and has missed her until it’s four in the morning. And when she curls next to Kara and looks at her sleeping so peacefully, she will understand that her happiness is right where Kara is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's been a long and probably tedious ride; but you've managed to hold onto the very end. So congratulations to you and thank you so much.


End file.
